THE GOOD LIFE BLOG
THE GOOD LIFE BLOG
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It's been a while now since I started on my own journey towards a better life. It wasn't bad to begin with, either, but I came to a point where I didn't feel good about where I was and what I was doing, and I knew I couldn't go on in the same way any longer. There had to be a change. I felt that I was running around in circles, trying to be the best possible mom, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, employee, friend (the list goes on!) - in short: I felt that I was trying so hard to be the best version of me that I could possibly be, but somehow that was never enough. What I was really doing was that I was trying so hard to meet the expectations I thought everybody else had of me, and I felt like a complete failure in all areas.
So after many years this way, I felt exhausted. I knew I couldn't go on living that way. But what could I do to change it?
I knew I had to get clarity around my situation, so I started doing what had always helped me before: I started writing things down. All the things that I felt wasn't working for me in my life, and also the things that did. I made a list of what I actually wanted, and I started thinking about how I could make them happen. What would I need to do? How could I live the life I truly wanted and be true to who I am? How could I live The Good Life?
I won't bore you with the details, but the result of my writing and the clarity I gained, meant making some tough decisions, which I'm happy to say that I managed to make eventually. And although it's been challenging at times, it's been worth it.
Long story short: I'm now living my life at a slow pace. I'm living what I feel is The Good Life for me. I'm taking time to do the things I love and really savor each moment. Because life is happening here and now and not somewhere in the future.
Happiness isn't something that will suddenly occur once you get that thing that you're hoping for, whether it's a new house, a more fulfilling job, that special someone to share your life with, or a whole lot of money. When you reach one goal, you'll probably set another, and that's how life is. But if you're not happy with where you're at right now, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get clarity around what it is that you really want, and then start doing something about that. Step by step.
I also believe that the key to getting all those things that you want, is to start appreciating what you already have.
Wanting more is natural, and having goals is a good thing. Just don't allow yourself to feel miserable because you don't have everything you want yet. You have so much going for you, and you're totally capable of getting all those things. It just might take some time, and you probably need to start focusing a bit more on what you really want, instead of constantly thinking about what you don't want or don't yet have.
Because that's what we often do, isn't it? We spend a lot of time thinking about the lack of things, and we worry too much about worst case scenarios. What might happen if we can't pay that bill, or what if we try this thing that we want to do, and then we fail... What if other people laugh at us for dreaming too big, or disrespect us for not seeing things through when we said we were going to do something ...?
And just like I did, you might also be running around in circles, trying to meet some expectations that you think other people have from you. And it makes you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and maybe even like a failure.
But you know what? F#"& all that! Because here's what I've experienced:
The more you focus on worrying and thinking about the things you don't want, the more you're actually drawing those things to you.
What you think is what you get.
It's really as simple as that.
And the more you put everyone else first and neglect your own needs, the less you have to give in the end.
Now you may think that this is just bullshit.
You might say: "But Else, you don't understand. I have such a lot of problems in my life, and it's not that easy. I have a lot of obligations. I can't just forget all about it and pretend they're not there."
Well, maybe not. And then again: Why not?
Because it takes the exact same amount of energy to focus on the good things as it does for you to focus on the bad.
Chew on that for a moment.
And those expectations that you think others have, might just be in your own head. In fact, they probably are! Most people have more than enough with keeping their own shit together, and don't think about you or what you should or should not do at all! Not because they don't care about you, but they don't EXPECT anything from you. Just think about it for a moment: Do YOU think a lot about other people and what they should or should not do? Do YOU have expectations from the people close to you? Probably not. You're probably too busy trying to meet the expectations you think THEY have!
So why not decide to focus all your energy on the things that are good in your life and on what you really, really want, instead of losing your happiness over stuff you can't really do anything about and that you're worrying about, and which in most cases (more than 80 %, actually) won't ever happen anyway?
All your worrying does for you, is take away the joy you should have today.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying you should be unrealistic. Some things in your life may need you to step up your game and take responsibility in order to change your situation. This could be a money situation or health issues that you need to address.
But - as Marie Forleo puts it: "Everything is figureoutable."
And when you start looking into things and decide to figure them out,
I'm 100 % certain that you will find a solution.
In fact, I'm going to suggest one thing for you now that can help you start figuring things out sooner than you would imagine possible, actually in as little as 5 days! Step by step, you'll find the clarity you need to start turning your life around for the better, and you'll be able to decide what you need to do next in order to get the life that you truly want. What YOU think is The Good Life.
So do something today that the future you will thank you for. Don't keep it off any longer! Decide that today is the day when you will start prioritizing yourself and your own happiness, and that you will start living NOW, and not in some distant future. Because if you don't take care of yourself first, you will not have anything to give to the people you love, either. But when you make sure you have a good life, your cup will flow over and everyone around you will benefit from it, too. I promise you!
And here's what you can do right now: Sign up for my 5 day-email course "Kick-start your new life in 5 days" and get started today! You won't regret it! And I'll be there to support you, every step of the way, so you're not alone. See you inside the course!
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