Illustration photo by Flickr.
I've decided that it's time. After more or less 18 years of not talking about it, I need to come out of the closet and say it out loud: I suffer from PCS. Never heard about it? I'm not surprised. I hadn't heard about it, either, until a doctor diagnosed me with it back in 2003. I'd known for a long time (more than 2 years) that there was something wrong with me, and I'd been telling my GP (General Practitioner Doctor) my theory about it, but I felt that he didn't believe me. In fact: Many doctors know very little about this, and my GP at the time obviously didn't. I'm not writing this blog post to bring shame upon anyone, but after my own personal experiences with PCS, I think it's time to shine some light upon this invisible injury, which is more common than you'd think, and which a lot of people suffer from, especially many athletes. But people with PCS often keep silent about their illness because they feel they're not being taken seriously or even believed. That's why I've kept silent about it, too. That doesn't make it go away, though. So let me tell you my story: Back in March 2001, I had applied for a vacant job at the local municipality office after having worked from home for 7 years. It was a part-time job (60 %). Just before I was going to start that job, I had an accident. I hit my head very hard against a bookshelf in my son's room one day, and I had a constant headache for 2 days. I didn't call any doctor, though, because I didn't want to bother anyone or "complain" (guess I'm a typical woman!) and I thought it would pass. So I started that job, despite the headache, because I thought if I started off with a sick-leave, I'd lose the job right away, so I tried to hang in there as best I could. Only the pain didn't pass. Well, it got better, but I was dizzy and also had other strange symptoms, like feeling completely exhausted just by walking up one flight of stairs, and I had migraine with "aura" almost every day, - so after a couple of days I finally went to see a doctor (not my usual GP). He examined me, but couldn't find anything wrong. He did, however, say that I should probably take it easy for a few days and asked me if I needed a sick note. I was reluctant at first and said "no, thank you", - but it didn't take long before I had to go back to the doctor and ask him to write that sick note anyways, and so I was on sick-leave for 2 weeks. That was just the beginning. Let me just cut a long story short and say that I was in and out of that doctor's office more times than I care to remember, and I felt more and more like I was regarded a hypochondriac each time I went there, because the doctor couldn't find any physical evidence of my illness. I felt more and more that he didn't quite believe that there was anything wrong with me at all, even though I'd told him about what happened when I hit my head and I'd described my symptoms and told him over and over again that they had to be connected to my injury, because it all started then and I'd never had any such symptoms in all my life before that. It wasn't until 2 years later that I finally got diagnosed. My GP had sent me to the local hospital to have some tests done over a couple of days, which meant that I had to be admitted, and during that hospital stay, after having been interviewed by the doctors and told them my story, one of the doctors came to me one day and gave me a Medical Journal with an article that he wanted me to read. "See if this describes what you're going through..." he said, as he handed it over to me. Post Concussion Syndrome The article turned out to be about something I'd never heard about before: Post Concussion Syndrome, but which I immediately recognized. (I won't explain in detail here, but you can read all about PCS here). When I read the article, everything fell into place. It was as if it was written about me personally. And the doctor told me that he'd had a similar experience as mine when he was younger. He'd fallen into a river and hit his head on a rock, and he got a severe concussion and suffered from it for many years afterwards. Post Concussion Syndrome really means "long-time effect from a severe concussion", - or to quote the Concussion Legacy Foundation: "Post-Concussion Syndrome, or PCS, is the persistence of concussion symptoms beyond the normal course of recovery" - and there was really no doubt: That was exactly what I was going through. It was such a relief to finally meet someone who understood what I was struggling with, and who could give me some answers! I asked the doctor if this was something I would have to struggle with for the rest of my life, or if there was anything at all I could do to heal myself. He said there was a chance that I could get well eventually, but that I most likely would have the symptoms for many years to come. He advised me to read more about it on the Internet when I got home from the hospital, and said that I should try to avoid all kinds of stress, mental and physical, and that I would probably need to rest a lot. If I managed to do that, he had good hopes for me, but couldn't make any promises. Risk groups It turned out that I was in one of the categories of people who were most likely to develop PCS and have symptoms for a long period of time. I'm a woman, I was in my 40s when I got the injury, and I'd had several head injuries and concussions as a child. For your information, I had at least 3 incidences of concussion in my childhood, - on one occasion I had to stay home from school for a whole week. I also had what they call "petit mal" epilepsy for a few years in my childhood, where I had "black-outs" and didn't know what was going on around me. Luckily, I "grew out of" that, but all these things probably made me especially vulnerable to PCS, and is probably part of the reason why I still have it. Symptoms of PCS If you suffer from symptoms that no doctor has managed to diagnose, maybe you have PCS, too. These are some of the symptoms: Headache / Migraine, often with "aura" (eyesight disturbances) Neck pain Head pain Flushing of cheeks Temperature control issues Insomnia Anger/mood swings Irritability Anxiety Depression Lethargy Nausea Nerve pain Visual convergence insufficiency Light sensitivity Noise sensitivity Shortness of breath Pounding chest Ticking Mental/cognitive changes Balance problems Frequent toilet visits / need to urinate Increased intolerance with alcohol Fatigue I've suffered from most of these symptoms, especially during the first few years. Some still linger on, but I'm better. When I'm allowed to set my own agenda, I can live more or less like normal, but if I have to be in an ordinary job, I seldom last long before I'm back on a sick-leave. How serious is PCS? Well, to quote the Concussion Legacy Foundation: "Post-Concussion Syndrome can be extremely disruptive to a patient’s life. In addition to having to constantly manage concussion symptoms, which can intensify with normal activity, long-term PCS patients often have to restructure their lives to avoid activities and situations that cause symptoms to worsen. For children, this can mean extended absences from school and removal from sports and extra-curricular activities. In severe cases, it may be necessary for a child to repeat a grade. In adults, PCS can seriously impact a patients’ personal and professional life, interfere with family life, as well as the ability to focus, communicate, and be effective at work." I can confirm that. I've had to restructure my life somewhat significantly after I got PCS, and the fact that this is invisible to everyone else and therefore something other people seem to find hard to accept even exists in my life and is a real problem, - I've learned to keep my mouth shut about it and I just try to live my life as close to normal as possible. The fact that many doctors know so extremely little about it, too, doesn't make it easier. It's hard to convince others to believe in something they can't see. That's why I've sometimes considered buying a pair of crutches or putting a bandage around my head, - like so many other PCS patients. I quote: "PCS is an invisible injury, and many patients often wish they had a more visible injury requiring crutches or a cast so that they would receive more respect" (quoted from the Concussion Legacy Foundation's website). No specific treatment, but there are options There's no medical cure for PCS, as you can see if you read more about it (here), and no particular physical treatment. But there are some options, depending on what your exact symptoms are, and there are things you can do to try and keep it from getting worse. I've tried to follow the advise I got from the doctor who diagnosed me. Basically, I've had to try to avoid stress (which has been extremely difficult, since I've had to work, and life has presented a lot of challenges along the way...). One of the symptoms of PCS is fatigue, so there's been a lot of things I always enjoyed doing before, that I just stopped doing for many years because I felt completely exhausted. Dizziness and migraine with "aura" (sight-disturbances) also made me sort of afraid of even going for a walk alone, - something I used to enjoy earlier. Less physical activity, combined with a lot of stress, resulted in me putting on almost 20 kilos of weight. For a person who's been lean and strong and never heavier than 60 kilos all my life up until that point, putting on that much weight and losing my slim figure was really depressing. I felt less attractive, and the fact that I felt constantly tired and didn't have the energy to do things together with my kids the way I used to, also made me feel like a "bad Mom". The effect PCS had on my relationship with my husband, is also part of the picture. I didn't have the energy I used to have before, neither to be physical intimate nor to go hiking in the mountains with him and that was bad enough, but I even struggled with doing household chores like cleaning floors, because I got so exhausted, so my husband had to do more of these things now. But the most frustrating thing was the feeling of not being taken seriously with my illness and the actual challenges I had because of it. As time went by, I felt that both my husband and other people didn't quite believe that PCS was real, and that I was just making excuses to avoid working or doing things I didn't want to do. It made me really sad and frustrated. I had to change my life It came to a point where I just couldn't live like that anymore. I wanted my life back! And I understood more and more that I had to stop putting everybody else first and start living more in alignment with who I am and what I need. I had to start looking after me for a change. So after years of struggling my lonely battle with PCS, - after being on sick-leave long-term, then going through a rehabilitation period where I managed to get some financial support to educate myself as an interior decorator, then going through a work-practice period, then starting my own creative business which I kept going for 2 years while at the same time working as a substitute teacher.... (!) (you may breathe now!) - yes, I did all of this despite the fact that I knew that I had PCS and really shouldn't be having all that stress in my life. But I was the only one who really understood that, and I felt that nobody believed me. So I kept quiet and kept going. But after some years, I realized that I had to make some big changes in my life. I just couldn't keep going the way I did. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. My marriage wasn't working well. I felt that - apart from the constant love and support from my wonderful kids - I was completely alone with my struggles, and had no support. So what should I do? To cut a long story short: After some time where I really tried to make the best out of the situation and I made a serious effort to think positive thoughts and try to make everything work (my health, my work situation, my marriage...), I realized I couldn't keep it up. So I made some tough decisions and sort of started my life from scratch again. Without going into any details right here, let me just say that I did what was necessary for me at that point, and part of that was divorcing my husband and moving to a new town. I struggled for quite a few years financially, with only part-time jobs or vacancies available and also a long period of unemployment, - but I found ways to cope and never gave up on my dreams of a better life for myself. I worked for several years as a coach for unemployed people, and then, 4 years ago, I got a job as a social worker for refugees, which was a permanent job. I was happy to get that job after quite a few years of only part-time jobs available, because I needed it to get a more balanced economy after the divorce, - but I've always known that being someone's employee was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to be my own boss, and I did everything in my power to make that happen. Why? Because I was struggling with my health, and I knew that having to rely on an employer or maybe even social security to keep my head above water, was not something I could live with much longer. It would only make my PCS worse. I just had to find a better way to support myself. I'm still struggling with my health, so I really need to make this online business work. It's early days yet, but I believe I'll be fine. I trust in myself and in God (or the Universe) How can you help someone with PCS? Again, I'd like to share a quote from the Concussion Legacy Foundation's website: "Family and friends of a patient suffering from PCS can help by recognizing that PCS is a serious condition, and being understanding and supportive if the patient needs to socialize differently. A person with PCS may no longer be able to handle the noise or crowds of a party, but they still need to spend social time with friends, so offer a movie night or just pay them a visit and talk. Other situations may bring on more severe symptoms, so expect someone with PCS to sometimes remove themselves from a loud, bright, crowded, or otherwise over-stimulating situation. Instead of questioning if their headache is really that bad, a supportive friend will offer encouragement and remind their friend that they’ll be ready to continue their activity when they’re feeling better." I realize that I probably should've informed work-colleagues and friends earlier about my invisible injury and the challenges I have on a regular basis because of it. But bad experiences when doing so in the past, has kept me from it. I'm tired of being mistrusted, misunderstood and not taken seriously when I talk about what I'm struggling with, like insomnia, fatigue, noise- and light-sensitivity, - among many other things. And I don't really want to focus on it, either. I want to focus on getting my life back to normal and being well. No one wants to listen to someone who always talks about illness and problems, and I don't, either. So I don't want to be that person, and I try to avoid it. But when people notice that I withdraw from social gatherings, at work or in private, they might think that I don't want to spend time with them, so I guess some explanations are in order. Well, at least I've come out of the closet with this blog post, and I want to contribute to more awareness around this topic, but not in a "problem-focused" way. I'm writing this from a positive perspective, to (hopefully) help others who might suffer from PCS without knowing that that's what it is, and to help them and their immediate circle of people understand better what's going on and maybe find ways to improve their life. I've decided to reach out a hand to other women who suffer from PCS and who are forced to leave their regular job because their illness makes it too hard to cope with it. I want to support women with PCS who try to find ways to work from home or start an online business in order to be able to support themselves, and who don't get any financial support elsewhere because nobody believes in their illness. Because I know what that's like. That's why I've created The Female Abundance Fund where you can donate money for this purpose, and where female PCS entrepreneurs eventually can apply for fundings. 10 % of all the products I sell through my online store will also go into this fund. Since the fund has just been started, it will take some time before I can open it up for applications, but if you donate $1 (or more) and spread the word about The Female Abundance Fund to others, this might happen sooner than we think! So follow this link or go to my Store right now and give your donation! Thank you so much! If you suffer from PCS, or suspect that you might do, you're more than welcome to contact me. Leave a comment below or send me a message through my "Contact Me" form, and I'll answer back A.S.A.P. And if you know of someone else who might want to read this blog-post, please share. Thank you for your time!
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August 13th 2019 If you've been following my progress and have been wondering why I haven't updated this page in a while, it's really quite simple: It's NOT because the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge hasn't worked for me, because it has, - but I'm currently trying out a new way of eating, and have been recommended not to do any particular exercise during the first month. I'll try to tell you more about it after I've finished this month, when I've had a chance to see what kind of effect it has on me. I'm trying to change my lifestyle for the better, and also lose some weight, and I don't expect the results to be immediate, so I feel it will have a bigger impact if I try it first and then tell you about it. I want to give value to you, and to be able to do that, I need to test out things first in my own life and see how it works for me, and then I can teach you what I did and how you can succeed, too. Makes sense, right? I hope you'll keep following me, and please feel free to leave me a comment or ask any questions through my "Contact Me" page. Until next time: Namasté! Honestly: I don't watch much TV. Because I like to watch a programme or a film or a documentary from start till finish without a 5 minutes' commercial break every 10 minutes. But despite this, I've lately become a fan of a few TV-shows that give me enormous joy, and I could watch them for hours if possible, because they're such a great inspiration to me. And I've been asking myself: What is it about these shows that inspire me to a degree that I don't mind spending hours watching them? From wreck to beauty The answer is simple: They're all about creating beauty out of a seemingly hopeless "canvas", or from what might be called a "wreck". Whether it's a house that looks like it's ready for condemnation, or a garden that looks like nothing can grow there, or a person who's hiding behind an armor of make-up, false eyelashes, extreme outfits and sometimes even - quite literally - a mask, simply because he or she has lost their self-confidence ... To watch how they're all lovingly taken care of by these very competent people, - interior designers, architects, contractors, realtors, beauticians, fashion designers, hairdressers, stylists, landscape architects, gardeners ... people who see these various (officially- or self-claimed) "wrecks" for what they really are: Buildings, gardens and people with great potential. They see the natural beauty hidden underneath the seemingly unappealing or unattractive surface, and then lovingly, little by little, make sure the natural features are emphasized in such a way that the owners also learn to appreciate them and don't want to hide them anymore. To watch buildings, properties and people rise as the bird Phoenix from the ashes and - after careful restoration - stand before us in all their new-found confidence and glory ... That's so wonderfully inspiring! Transformation from within I believe that TV-shows like the "Fixer Uppers" with Chip and Joanna Gaines and "Property Brothers" with Drew and Jonathan Scott, are really important. Because it's not just about fancy interiors and cosmetic changes. On one hand, Chip and Joanna Gaines, Drew and Jonathan Scott (and other people who have similar TV-shows) are highly professional in their craftmanship and really know what they're doing, and they create truly amazing changes to houses that seem beyond salvation. But more importantly: They're actually transforming people's lives in a significant way. And shows like "100 % Hotter", where people go through what they call a "make-under", because it's more about "dressing down" or toning down an extreme way of showing up in the world, and helping individuals appreciate and embrace their natural selves... It's the same with them. The team of stylists, beauticians and hairdressers help people find a new confidence and pride in who they are, and help them find a style that emphasizes their natural beauty and make them feel fabulous. How great is that!? This is important work. This is transformational. If you've ever thought about these TV-shows as superficial and shallow and all about "looks", then think again. It's not about that at all. It's not only about designing a beautiful interior, or about making everyone look like a "super-model". It's about releasing tension, stress and chaos in people's lives. It's about giving them their life back. It's about giving them their self-confidence back. It's about joy, happiness and all good things. The Female Life Designer That's the kind of contribution I want to give to the world. It's becoming more and more clear to me. With my education as an interior designer, my skills in arts & crafts, my experience as an entrepreneur and as a coach, combined with my passion for all good things in life, I want to inspire, motivate and empower other women to create a beautiful life for themselves on all levels. To be confident in their own skin. To stand tall and walk with their heads held high. I want to inspire, motivate and empower you to be all that you can be. Because this is important. So I'm on a mission to serve you, and at the same time keep designing MY life the way I truly want it. That's why I call myself The Female Life Designer. I hope you'll keep following me on this journey. I hope you'll join my tribe! Who knows where it might lead us? If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to leave a comment below or send me a note through the "Contact Me" page, and also share this post with someone you know. And you're of course welcome to check out my Facebook page. See you soon! Do you feel stuck in your past? Is it sort of "haunting" you and keeping you from doing the things you really want to do? Maybe you're not even aware of how much your past is affecting your decisions. You just feel that things are never going your way, or that you're constantly struggling with certain issues or situations that keep occurring in your life again and again, no matter what you do. I don't know what your past looks like. Maybe you've experienced neglect or abuse. Maybe you've struggled with poor health or severe illness all your life. Maybe you've always been poor. Maybe you never did well in school and nobody ever believed that you could ever accomplish anything, and maybe they even said it to your face so you lost confidence in yourself and it became a belief deep within you. Or maybe you did have everything going for you: A good upbringing and a happy childhood with lots of opportunities. Maybe you did well in school and got a good education. Maybe you found a great job and has had a certain amount of success in your life. And still, you're not happy. You feel that there must be something more, but you feel stuck with what you have and can't really put your finger on what's wrong, either. And you feel bad because you can't make yourself love the way things are, even though everything's "perfect" and other people kind of envy you and think that you've really made a good life for yourself. Complaining isn't your thing, and it wouldn't be proper, because hey, you have a good life, don't you...? Don't you!? So what more do you want!? Either way, - a past full of struggle or a past full of opportunities: You feel stuck. You feel that your past is the foundation that determines how the rest of your life will look like. Your path has been laid. Your past experiences and conditions have made you into who you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's just the way things are. This is what life has given you, and you just have to deal with it and do the best that you can with it. Well, I'm telling you that's not how it has to be. You're not your past Whether you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth or not: You're not your past. Because what you experienced in your past was a result of the programming you were exposed to by your peers: your parents and extended family, your teachers, your religious leaders, the society you were brought up in. They've all programmed you with their own beliefs about life and how things should be, and eventually these beliefs became your own. You've learned rules to follow, you've been told that you should act in this or that way to make sure you fit in with the rest of your community and not upset or provoke anyone by being different. And maybe you've been told that you should be grateful for what you have (no matter how little or how much that is) and not strive for more, because it wouldn't be appropriate. Or maybe they've even told you that you're not worthy of more. Who are you to think that you deserve anything more? You are worthy and you can have it all But guess what: You ARE worthy of more! In fact, you're worthy of all good things! And the best of all is that you can have it! You can have it all! It's totally achievable! I don't know if you believe in God or the Universe or a source energy that's in all of us, - or whatever it is that you believe. And it doesn't really matter. What I want you to know is that whatever you believe, whether you're religious or spiritual or an agnostic: YOU have the power to create your life the way you want it. You and only you. How is that? Your mind is like a cannon acting like a boomerang What you experience in your life is a direct result of what you think about day in and day out. Your thoughts become your reality. You get what you focus on, whether it's positive or negative. Your mind is like a cannon, loaded with thoughts, only it works like a boomerang and sends back to you whatever it is you're projecting out into the universe. So if you want only good things to come to you, you must stop sending out all those negative thoughts and start projecting only positive, happy and prosperous thoughts instead. I'm telling you: If you really understood the effect your thoughts have on your reality, you'd never want to think a negative thought again! "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." I'm sure you've heard this quote from Henry Ford. And it really is as simple as that. If you keep thinking that you're not good enough or wise enough or not worthy ... or that you're not good with money or that you're not educated enough to get a better paid job, or that your health is preventing you from living the life you want, or that other circumstances like your family, your kids or society - or whatever it is that you're thinking - are preventing you from fulfilling your dreams ... then that's how it will continue to be. For sure. Because you simply can't think a negative thought and expect a positive result. Makes sense, doesn't it? If you think something's holding you back or keeping you from doing what you want ... well, I'm telling you: It's all in your mind. It's not real. You can choose what to think So my advise to you today is this: Start thinking positive thoughts from this moment forward. And when you do, I promise you that you'll soon start noticing a positive effect in your life. And you're in total control here! Because you can choose to think positive thoughts, no matter what life throws at you. Nobody else can decide what you should think. Only if you let them. And whatever your past has been: It doesn't have to be your tomorrow. It doesn't have to be your TODAY. And today is really all we've got. So make the decision today that you'll start thinking positive thoughts and only focus on what you DO want, and not on what you don't want. I promise you: Your future self will thank you for it! If you want to hear more about this topic, I suggest you watch the episode I broadcasted on my YouTube channel a while back. You can watch it below. If you liked this blog post and / or the video, please feel free to leave a comment below or follow my blog. Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels
July 10th 2019 I've completed week 7 of the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge, with some modifications, and I'm happy that I've actually come this far. That was not obvious when I first started out! This week I'm on holiday, and even though I could have continued doing my work-outs while I'm away, I've given myself permission to hit the pause-button this week. Why? Because I need to be able to relax completely this week and not put any pressure on myself about anything. I know I'll pick up the routine again when I return home. I'm not saying that you should follow my example. If you know that dropping your exercise routine (whatever that is) will make it very hard for you to pick it up again when the holiday is over, then I strongly suggest that you stick with it no matter what. Because it's good for you, and if you're in a good flow now and has found a good routine, then by all means: Keep going! Consistency is the key to success, whether we're talking exercise or business or whatever. So you go, girl! Namasté! July 17th 2019 I'm back from my trip, but I still have a week's holiday, so I'm still kind of in holiday mode. However, I did pick up my Yoga Burn routine on Monday like I said I would, so now I've started Week 8. But I found it really hard on Monday morning and had to modify a lot. Also, as I was doing a "downward Dog", I felt something snap in my heel, like if something went out of place. So today I didn't do the routine, because I don't know if I should. Maybe I'll do it this evening instead, or at least a modified version. I feel that I've learned a lot about yoga during the first 7 weeks that I've been following this program. So I can always keep doing it, but maybe just put together the moves that I feel work well for me, and not necessarily follow the exact routine that Zoe is doing this week. Yeah, I think that's what I'll do, and then move on to Week 9 and see what the challenge is then. I really want to see this through and do all the 12 weeks, even though I've only done 1 round of exercise per day, 3 days a week, and not 2 and 3 rounds like I'm supposed to do in this challenge. It's challenging enough for me to do 1 round x 3, so I just have to keep doing that until I find that I can take it a step further. Consistency is key, like I've said before. Better this way than nothing at all! How are YOU doing? Feel free to share it with me by sending me a note through the "Contact Me" page. Namasté! Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels
June 5th 2019 I'm in Week 3 of The Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge, and I'm keeping it up! I'm doing the program 3 days a week now in the beginning, - on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I have found that the best time for me is to do it in the morning, as soon as I get out of bed. Then I take a shower and eat my breakfast, and I feel very relaxed and good about having done some exercise before I go on with my chores for the day. I'm currently on a 50 % sick leave from my day job, so on the days I have to get up early to go to work, I do the Yoga Burn program in the evening instead. Otherwise, it becomes a stress factor for me, and then I know I won't see it through. So far, I haven't missed out on any of the scheduled work-outs. That's a definite choice I've made, because I know that if I just stick with it now, even if it feels hard, I will reach the point where I "just can't live without it". That's what I want, because I know I need this, and I really, really want to get my life back and get back into shape. In the past, I've found it very difficult to stick with any work-out program, the main reason being that I've been struggling with fatigue for many years now, after an accident I had which left me with a post concussion syndrome. But the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge seems to be the right thing for me, and I'm very happy about that. I'm actually looking forward to each session! Can't get any better than that, hey? Follow my progress here, or even better: Join me in the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge and let's do this together! (Please note: This link is my personal Affiliate link, so I may get a small commission if you join the challenge through this link.) June 16th 2019 I've just finished Week 4 of The Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge. I do struggle with my balance sometimes, and I sometimes have to modify the movements that Zoe is showing in the videos. But I still do the work-outs 3 times a week, and I feel more determined than ever to keep this up. I don't see any huge changes in my body yet, but I feel the change. I feel a bit stronger, and I feel firmer, especially in my legs and booty. I wish there were visible changes in my tummy, too, but I know that it will take some time before that happens. The tummy fat is the hardest to get rid of and is what I've been struggling with for years. So expecting it to change drastically in just 4 weeks with 15-20 minutes of work-out every second day, wouldn't be realistic. So I'm telling myself that "a slow and steady pace wins the race", and I keep going. This week I also put in some of the bonus work-out material at the end of my ordinary work-out session, which is the Total Body Band Burnout. I liked it so much that I think I'll do that work-out in-between the others now and then in the weeks to come. I still haven't done more than one round of each work-out so far, but my intention is to step it up a notch from now on. I'm looking forward to Week 5! If you know you have to start exercising but still haven't made a decision about what kind of exercise you should do, I strongly suggest that you try The Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge. (Please note: This link is my personal Affiliate link, so I may get a small commission if you join the challenge through this link.) June 26th 2019 My 5th week of the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge is completed! I must admit that I'm finding it a tad more challenging every week, but that's some of the idea with it, I guess. I find that I still have to modify some of the movements, especially those involving balance. My hip's a little bit weaker on one side, so if I have to balance on one foot, I tend to fall out of it sooner when I'm balancing on my left foot. But I do my best, and I always go through the whole work-out, even if I have to modify here and there. I'm sorry to say, though, that I missed one yoga day in week 5. This was because I had to go to my day job on Wednesday and therefor didn't find time to do yoga in the morning. And when I came home I was too tired and also got busy with other things. I thought I'd catch up and do it the next day instead, but I didn't (for some reason). This was a disappointment, so I made sure I did the work-out on Friday, and I promised myself that I will definitely not skip any more days in the weeks to come. It will be easier for me to have regularity in this over the next few weeks, because I've just started on my summer holidays now and can stick to my own schedule. And I keep saying to myself that I have to stick with this, because if I start procrastinating or finding reasons not to do the work-outs on the days I've decided to do them, I will soon end up not seeing it through. THAT CAN NOT HAPPEN! The purpose of sharing this with you here on this page is to make you my accountability partner. I would be happy if you would leave me an uplifting comment or write something to cheer me on. Because if I know for certain that someone is actually reading this and following my progress, it will be even more important to keep it up. I'm considering putting some more exercise into my schedule in-between the Yoga Burn days, like some dancing and some more walking. I'll keep you posted on that! I woke up to the most beautiful weather, and the day had every possibility in it of becoming a productive one, but I felt exhausted, even after a night's sleep. So I decided that I wouldn't make any definite plans, - just go with the flow. Yoga has become my favourite way to start the day My one determination, though, was to do my Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge routine. I do that every second day now. I'm in my first week, and I find it invigorating and not too hard to commit to, so I actually believe that this is something I will stick with. Unlike any other work-out or exercise routine that I've tried in the past. The Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge is a 12 weeks' program, and I seriously think I'll be able to see this through. The benefits are obvious: Better over-all physical condition, better health, better ME! Hopefully, I'll even lose some weight and get a more toned, lean and strong body, which is very high up on my list of short- (and long-) term goals. It's definitely a part of my Freedom Journey, because to me, freedom is also feeling free in my body. Feeling comfortable in my own skin. Even though I'm quite happy with my body the way it is, I have a strong desire to lose some weight and get a leaner and stronger body, like the one I used to have before. I was always lean and strong in my younger days, even after 2 child-births, - but 18 years ago I had an accident, - a head injury - which set me back physically and got me into a downward spiral with less exercise and gain of weight. To make a long story short: It's been a long way to get back to normal. And I still have challenges (like fatigue), which makes it hard for me to motivate myself to do physical exercise, even though I've actually always liked being active. Therefor, feeling exhausted by the tiniest bit of exercise has been rather depressing for me. So I need to do this for myself. I want my life back! I need to do what's best for me Since my physical challenges are not visible or obvious to other people, it's not easy to make other people accept the fact that I have problems with working a 9-5 job. This is also a challenge for me, because I need to earn money to be able to support myself. I'm alone (divorced) and don't have anyone else to share my expenses with, so I just have to find a way to cope. It's been hard, but I'm still here, and I do cope. Better and better, actually. I still have a day-job, and I do appreciate that, - but I know that if I'm ever to recover fully from my head-injury, I need to reduce all the stress from my life and be free to set my own agenda every day. That's why I know, without a shadow of doubt, that I need to be my own boss. I need to work with what I love and what makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning. I know that I need to be creative. I need to be out and about, exploring the world, socializing with people, learning new things. I need to contribute to the world in a positive way, - in my unique way, with my talents and gifts. I want to spread peace, love and understanding, and inspire and motivate others to live the life they want without fear, and without apologizing for being who they are. But before I can really make a difference in someone else's life, I need to start with myself. I need to start doing what I really want. I need to give myself a kick in the arse and stop procrastinating. And I need to start by exercising more and get "my old self" back. So I hereby commit to the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge and to report my results on this blog on a regular basis. You can follow my progress here. You are now my Accountability Partner! Feel free to cheer me on with a comment below and follow my blog, - and even better: Join my tribe and let's do this together! I felt so much better after my Yoga Burn routine today, so if you're struggling with motivation to do any sort of exercise, I strongly suggest that you start with Yoga. You can do it at home, and you can start slowly and build yourself up, little by little. It's working for me, and I think it can work for you, too. There are many different programs online, so I'm sure you'll be able to find a program that suits you, but to save you some searching I can hereby recommend the Yoga Burn programs (there are several). Namasté! If you want to start with the Yoga Burn Total Body Challenge, here's a link to where you can find it. Please note that this is my personal Affiliate link, so I might be rewarded with a small commission if you join through this link. I’m a time traveler.
I bet you didn’t know that about me… that I’m capable of travelling in time and space and taking on several personalities. In one week I can be in ancient Egypt on Monday, then on Tuesday I can travel on to 1943 to live the life of a resistance agent in the south of France … and on Wednesday I can find myself in 1994 and be a Detective of the New York Police Departement…. and suddenly, on Thursday, I’m back in 2019 and living as a self-made millionaire with my own TV-/public speaker-/author business … You might think that this must be a rather exhausting way of living, but I assure you: It’s not. It’s invigorating, inspiring, fascinating and wonderful! I’m so grateful for the day when I discovered that I could do this! It’s been such a journey, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing this! Anyone can do it So how do I do this? It’s really quite simple. Anyone can do it. You see: I’m a reader. I read books, articles, blogs…. and I watch films… and I listen to music … and they draw me into their worlds and I identify with the characters of the stories… I smell what they smell, sense what they sense, hear the sounds that they describe or create … I see the landscapes, the houses, the interiors, the colors, the people … It’s amazing! One of my biggest dreams have always been to be able to create such experiences for others, by writing books and making films … by acting and singing … Because the writers, the filmmakers, the singers and the musicians open up new worlds to us all … and I feel richer with every book, every film, every piece of music that I experience. I bless the day I discovered this wonderful possibility of traveling in time and space. Thank God for the diversity, the creativity, the inventions that have made it possible to access these treasures, through the printed word, the books, the libraries, the cameras, the radios, the microphones, the LP’s, the cassettes, the DVDs, the concert halls, the screens, the movie theaters, the TV, the computer, the Internet … I wonder where I’ll go tomorrow …. I’m already looking forward to the journey! (This was first published on my blog "Leylas Journal" over at leylasjournal.tumblr.com) I'm making new rules for my life. I have lived so many years according to other people's rules, and quite frankly: They haven't served me all that well. I have always felt it deep inside, that something was wrong, and that living within the frames that either my family, the Christian community, teachers, or society in general set for me (and for everybody else), wasn't always right for me. But it took me almost 5 decades to realize it: That living by other people's rules was not what I came here to do, and that I can actually make my own rules. What a relief! Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that we shouldn't have rules at all. Some rules, like traffic regulations and rules that help us keep "law and order" in our society and avoid complete chaos, - some general rules for human behavior, like not stealing from others, etc. - are, of course, necessary. All we have is here and now I'm referring more to those other rules... the unwritten ones, if you see what I mean, rules that say we "can't live like this or that", or that we must get an education, find a job, get married, buy a house, have children, not strive to get rich.... And the general belief that we must work hard most of our lives to earn money. Then we can retire when we're in our 60's and do all the things that we really want to do. What a lot of rubbish! I say: Live your life while you can! You have no guarantees about tomorrow. All you have is the here and now. So make sure you make the most of it! Don't put off until tomorrow or some time in the distant future the things you really love doing. You came here to live your life the way only you can, and you should follow your gut instinct and not just what other people think you should be doing. They don't know you like you do. Only you know what's best for YOU. So go for it! What are you waiting for? Make a plan and start moving I know, I know... There are challenges... obstacles .... other people to consider ... I've been there, too... But at least do yourself the favor of making a plan and start moving in the direction of what you really want. One small step at a time, if necessary. You don't have to make quantum leaps, - at least not to begin with. And I know: It's hard to make changes. Especially if you have to do it all alone and don't have anyone to support you or guide you in the process. But we are many who are on the same journey, and who would be happy to get to know you and walk that road together with you. I'm one of them. I hereby invite you to get in touch. Let's do this together! It's definitely more fun that way! Please feel free to follow my blog, or even better: Join my tribe! "Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else." This hit me right now as I was thinking and re-thinking about what it is that I want to do with my online presence. In fact: not only with my online presence, but with my LIFE. Yes, I want to inspire, motivate and empower women to live their life un-apologetically on their own terms. But not only women, - ALL people! I want to show them that being who they are is enough. I want them to be proud of who they are and feel confident in their own skin. I want them to really understand it and feel it with all their heart and in their bones. That they are valuable. Unique. Wonderful! The big question I'm asking myself over and over again is "HOW can I do that?" And the answer came to me, pure and simple: "Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else." I have tried and tested... changed my words with the hope that I would reach more people by doing so ... I have spent hours, days, weeks and months trying to learn from others who have succeeded in building an audience online... I've invested time and money in it. I've had plans. I've been persistent. I've followed other people's advice about what I should do to get through to "my specific audience".... But deep inside, I feel that all this... all my efforts... they're not showing the whole picture of who I really am. Because I'm not a strategist (even though I'm good at making plans). And if a task takes too long before I see any results, I get impatient. I get bored! I'm a creative person. I don't have ONE passion. I have many! I find it hard to focus on just ONE thing that I should share with others. I'm a social, outgoing person who loves to interact with people. And at the same time I'm a person who really appreciates some alone-time and don't have any problem with spending hours on my own... But most of all I want to be with people and talk, interact, laugh, engage in good conversations, share a good meal, inspire, motivate and help others, and also learn from them and grow, spiritually and as a person. And my passion really is in the creative field, but I've been hiding that side of me for so many years that it scares me stiff to even think that I should "go for it"... that I should "come out of the closet" and show my true self ... the XXXXX in me ... Damn! I can't even say the word...! Because I'm afraid it will back-fire on me.... that people will throw that word back in my face and say: "Ha! An XXXXXX!? Who does she think she is!?" So I'm going to spend a few more days in my "closet" now, thinking about what to do about it... How to be true to myself, - how to REALLY show myself and others that I live what I preach: That being me is enough, and that I will stand tall and not be afraid to show it .... So that they can really get my message and understand that they are enough, too. YOU are enough. Because it's really the only way to truly live: "Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else." If this resonates with you, feel free to leave a comment below or follow my blog. Or even better: Join my tribe and let's get to know each other better! |
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