LA VIE ADORABLE
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 Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Do you find cleaning your house a drag? You're not alone! But we all know that a certain amount of cleaning is necessary to keep our home a healthy place, so it just needs to be done, doesn't it? But how can you stop feeling so bad about that particular side of homekeeping? My answer is: Do like the French! I must confess: I have never liked scrubbing floors, toilets etc., or handling garbage. Some people quite enjoy it. I don't. I kind of like doing the dishes - that's more therapeutic and gives room for reflection, the way I see it - but the other stuff ... well, I used to find that more of a drag. That is: Until I learned how the French do it. Oh happy day! It was a revelation! It took away the stress of it for me, and I feel that it's my pleasurable duty to share it with you so you can finally be a peace with it, too. From this day forward you'll suffer from no more "cleaningfobia" (I don't even know if that's a word, but if it is, I've had it...)! Here are the 3 simple rules I have learned from the French when it comes to keeping the house clean: #1: The French don't look upon cleaning as another chore The word "chore" implies that there is work to be done, right? And more work often means more stress, more obligations, and we don't want that. We want to have a good time, enjoy our house and spend our time doing the things we love. Well, to the French, keeping a house nice for your family is to "faire le ménage", which can be translated with "make the household", and they see it as just part of the little things you do every day to keep the surroundings nice and enjoyable for all. It's included in the other little daily routines and not really a chore of its own. This mentality takes the stress out of it, I think, and here's another reason why:  Photo by Max Vakhtovych from Pexels #2: The French keep it simple The French usually don't have one whole day set aside for cleaning every week. Instead, they do the cleaning and tidying as they go along, like making the bed as soon as they have aired it in the morning, hanging clothes into the closet instead of letting them lie around, putting a book back on the shelf when they've finished reading it, putting the dishes in the dishwasher when they've finished a meal - you get the picture. The French also don't have the same fixation about disinfecting all surfaces like many other Western nations do, but they like to keep things streamlined and organised. They might also sweep the floor with a broom instead of dragging the hoover out every time the floor needs a bit of cleaning up. #3: The French don't clutter  Photo by Max Vakhtovych from Pexels
The French generally go for quality over quantity in all things, whether it's their wardrobe or their home, which means they have less things that need cleaning and dusting. A good excuse for doing some decluttering, I'd say! Besides, it's been scientifically proven that clutter is a cause for low-anxiety disorder, so there's also a medical reason for getting rid of some clutter in your home. So if you have lots of children's toys lying around, piles of papers and books everywhere, an unmade bed, or anything else that is like an eye-sore to you in your home, I suggest that you start with assigning everything its own place and start putting them back where they belong after each time you've used them. A little bit of tidying "on the go" is so much better than having to spend hours clearing everything up once a week or so. You might also want to consider sweeping your floors with a broom on a regular basis, rather than dragging the hoover out every time they need a bit of cleaning up. This is especially recommendable if you have wooden floors or other smooth surfaces that can easily be swept instead of hoovered or washed every time. ------ These habits are straightforward and easy to implement, and they'll save you time in the long run to do more fun things in your life. I suggest that you start doing this little by little and work it into your daily routines. It's far less time consuming than you'd think, and you could be on your way to a cleaner and more "chic" home in no time at all. À bientôt!
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 When you’re stressed out, the foods that you’re turning to are most likely going to be traditional ‘comfort’ foods like big meals, take-away, fatty foods, sweet foods, and alcohol. I'm sure we’ve all found some comfort in a tasty meal and a bottle of beer or glass of wine when we’ve been stressed out or upset. This isn’t a good permanent solution, though. Stress-fighting foods  If you’ve been feeling more stressed out than usual lately, it’s important to know which foods are best to choose and which to avoid when it comes to combating stress and helping you to deal with feelings of stress and anxiety. The best way to fight stress is to have a healthy, balanced diet which includes a moderate amount of each of the different food groups. To ensure that your body gets the optimum amounts of nutrients to fight both physical and mental health problems, filling up on foods such as whole grains, leafy vegetables, and lean proteins as the basic staples of the diet is the best way. When it comes to choosing the foods to eat, some have a range of great properties which help the body to combat stress. Choosing these stress-busting foods will help to heal and calm your mind permanently, rather than providing a temporary fix. Some of the best stress-fighting foods include: Avocado  Photo by Anne from Pexels. Avocado is a creamy and versatile fruit which can be eaten in a range of different ways whether you enjoy it raw, made into sauces, dressings and dips, or in a smoothie. This nutrient-dense fruit have the properties to stress-proof your body, thanks to its high glutathione content which specifically blocks the intestinal absorption of certain fats which cause oxidative damage. Avocados also contain higher levels of vitamin E, folate, and beta-carotene than any other fruit, which boosts their stress-busting properties. However, be careful with portion control when eating avocado, as it is high in fat. Blueberries  Photo by Angele J from Pexels. Swapping chocolate or chips for one of the best superfoods is a great way to help you deal with your stress levels and achieve a higher level of calm. Blueberries have some of the highest levels of antioxidants, especially antho-cyanin, which means that this berry has been linked to a wide range of health benefits including sharper cognition, better focus, and a clearer mind – all of which can help you to better deal with stress. Chamomile Tea  Photo by cottonbro from Pexels Of course, it’s not all about what you’re eating when it comes to managing stress; what you’re drinking can also alleviate or worsen the stress you're feeling. Drinking liquids which are high in sugars and caffeine, such as coffee, energy drinks or soda, can actually increase your stress levels if consumed regularly. Chamomile tea has long been used as a natural bedtime soother, and it has also been used in clinical trials, which determined that chamomile tea is effective in reducing the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder. Chocolate  Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels Although it’s usually seen as an unhealthy treat, there is an undeniable link between chocolate and our mood. Studies have shown that eating chocolate can actually make you happier. However, that doesn’t mean that you can have a chocolate bar every time you're stressed out. Chocolate works best as a de-stressor when eaten in moderation and as part of a healthy and balanced diet. Dark chocolate in particular is best for you, as it contains more flavonols and polyphenols, which are two hugely important antioxidants that can help combat stress more than many fruit juices. Beef  Photo by pixabay from Pexels Grass-fed beef is not only kinder to the planet and to animals, it’s also good for people, too. Grass-fed beef has a huge range of antioxidants, including beta-carotene and Vitamins C and E, which can help your body fight stress and anxiety. If you’re looking for more reasons to spend a little more money on organic, grass-fed beef, it’s also lower in fat than grain-fed beef whilst being higher in omega-3. Oatmeal  Photo by Keegan Evans from Pexels Oatmeal is great in that it can be a filling comfort food, but it also has a large number of healthy properties to actually make you feel better from the inside out. As it is a complex carbohydrate, eating oatmeal causes your brain to produce higher levels of the feel-good chemical serotonin, helping you to feel calmer and less stressed. Walnuts  Photo by Yusuf Arslan from Pexels If you’re looking for a healthy snacking option thatwill help you to stay better in control of your stress levels, walnuts are a great choice. They have a sweet, pleasant flavor, and they can be a tasty snack for in-between meals or as part of a desert. Walnuts are also great for salads, or you can include them in a sweet treat such as coffee and walnut cake. Pistachios  Photo by Anton Uniqueton from Pexels Pistachios is another food which is great for snacking on and can also help to combat stress and anxiety in the long term. Studies have found that simply eating two small, snack-size portions of pistachios per day can lower vascular constriction when you are stressed, putting less pressure on your heart by further dilating your arteries. The rhythmic, repetitive act of shelling pistachios can actually also be quite therapeutic. :) Leafy green vegetables  Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels Leafy, green vegetables should be an important part of any diet. Along with helping to combat stress, leafy greens are full of nutrients and antioxidants which help to fight off disease and leave your body feeling healthier and more energized. Dark leafy greens, for example spinach, are especially good for you since they are rich in folate, which helps your body to produce more mood-regulating neurotransmitters such as serotonin, which is a ‘feel-good’ chemical. Making leafy greens a part of your diet will help you to feel happier and less stressed out overall. Fermented foods  Photo by Any Lane from Pexels Last but not least, eating fermented foods such as yogurt can help to keep your gut healthy, which actually in turn will help to improve your mental health and reduce stress levels. The beneficial bacteria which are found in fermented foods such as yogurt, actually have a direct effect on your brain chemistry and transmit positive mood and behavior regulating signals to your brain via the vagus nerve. Putting together your meal plan  Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels Planning your meals wisely is key to not only staying physically fit and healthy, but also to staying mentally strong and being able to best manage your levels of stress. Knowing which foods to avoid and which are the best to reach for to snack on when you’re feeling worried and anxious is important to helping you get control over your emotions and fears. Having stress-busting snacks such as fresh berries, dark chocolate, yogurt, walnuts or pistachios, or even a fruit smoothie with avocado and leafy greens in it, can help you to feel better in both the short and long term when it comes to stress. The most important thing is to make sure that for the most part, you're eating a diet that is healthy and balanced. To stay on track, it’s a good idea to make a meal plan for your week. Plan ahead to make sure that you have a good selection of these stress-busting foods in your kitchen, so you can make meals and snacks from them when you’re feeling like stress-eating. Making sure that the majority of your meals include foods such as lean proteins and leafy green vegetables will not only make you feel healthier overall, but can improve your mental health and stress levels, too. A good example of a healthy, stress-busting menu could be: Breakfast: Oatmeal with berries or a fruit smoothie with avocado and berries. Mid-morning snack: Natural yogurt with fruit or a handful of pistachio nuts. Lunch: A whole-grain pasta salad filled with plenty of leafy greens. Afternoon snack: Dark chocolate. Dinner: Grass-fed beef with vegetables. Before bed: Chamomile tea. This was just an exampel of a menu, to give you a good idea. Remember to exercise good portion control when eating foods such as nuts, chocolate, yogurt or avocado! As the saying goes, you are what you eat – so make sure that first and foremost, you’re filling yourself up with foods which are good for your mental health. ------------- I hope this article was of value to you. I'll be writing more about health and nutrion on a regular basis, so if this is something you're interested in, I hope you'll like and follow my blog. Feel free to share it with someone else who might like it, too. À bientôt! I just love the film "You've got m@il", starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks! I have lost count of how many times I've watched it over the years, and I continue to watch it on a regular basis, because it just speaks to my heart. But this isn't going to be a film review. I just want to share a quote from that film here now, and that is what the character Kathleen Kelly says to Joe Fox when he comes to see her after she's had to close down her business, partly because he's opened a huge discount book store in the neighborhood where she had her little book-shop, "The Shop Around The Corner". Joe says to her that "it wasn't personal", upon which she replies that she is sick and tired of everyone saying that, and that she thinks that the only thing that means is that it wasn't personal to him, but it was personal to her and to a lot of people. And then she says (I quote): "And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway? Because whatever else anything is, at least it should begin with being personal." Clip from YouTube - scenes from "You've Got M@il" And you know what? I agree with her. Let me give you 2 reasons why: Reason # 1: If you're building a business, people will buy from you if they know and trust you For quite a few years now, I have wanted to build an online business, and I've spent a lot of time and money trying to learn what I need to do to succeed with that. Some of it has been very sound advice, and some of it hasn't. I've tried various approaches over the years, but quite a few of them have just left me frustrated and disappointed with the lack of result they have brought me. And why haven't they brought any results? Because they haven't been in line with who I really am. They haven't been personal. First, I tried to build an online business as a personal coach, even though I've never really liked the idea of being one. I do have experience as a teacher and a personal coach/career-coach, and I've been in charge of quite a few classes and courses over the years. But I've never really liked standing in front of a class, teaching. It just sounded like good advice to build on that experience when I wanted to start something online, so that's what I did. And there was a lot of advice on how to be professional and become the "go to" expert in your field. Oh my, how I struggled with that! I just couldn't find a way to do it that really had me excited and feeling good about what I was doing. Nothing really resonated with who I am as a person. I felt like a fraud, because "professional" in the sense that I thought it meant, didn't seem like me at all. I tried to create an online course, and after many different approaches, I did manage to create one that I was happy with and that I felt comfortable launching, but it still wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. I never really wanted to create a course in the first place. I wanted to express myself in a different way, because I've always been more of an artist than a teacher, - if you see what I mean... So I decided I needed to find a better way, and I sat down and took some time to analyze my life and my online business (or rather: What I wanted to be an online business). What was working, and what wasn't? When thinking about business, I asked myself what it is that I like about other people or companies that I follow online. Why do I follow them and also often buy their products? The answer was really very easy: I like who they are. What they say and do resonate with me and the person I am or want to be. And they show up as themselves. They seem honest about their successes and failures, and what they offer bring some real value to my life, the way I see it. I feel that I can trust them. So the final conclusion to all my analyzing was that I needed to get more personal in my business approach, and that's what I've been trying to do ever since. I decided to build my online business around the things that I have experienced in my own life and that I have found to be valuable and important to me. Sharing all those things with you so you can get the life that YOU want, is something that I find very meaningful and important. And I want to express it through writing, through videos on my YouTube channels, through photographs, and maybe even in a podcast further down the line. And I'm going to get more personal, because that's how I normally act around people. I just need to be myself. I can't pretend I'm someone else. So to sum up Reason # 1: If you want to build a business, whether it's online or a "brick-and-mortar" business: - Build your brand so that it's in line with who you are and what you find valuable and important. - Share more of YOU so that the people you want to reach really get who you are, get what you stand for, get what your values are. When who you are and what you say and do resonate with other people, - when they can relate to you as a person and feel that you offer something that they find valuable, - that's how they will become your loyal followers and eventually your loyal customers.  Picture by Amina Filkins on Pexels. Reason # 2: If you want to be happy and build good relationships with other people, you need to show up as your authentic self If I'm to pick one important lesson that I've learned in life, it's this: You won't really get anywhere or even be happy if you build your life around what society and maybe your family might seem to expect: That you get a "proper education" and find yourself what is called "a decent job", and then keep your distance to other people, act "professionally" and never share anything personal. And depending on what culture and / or religion you grew up in, there will also be a lot of other expectations and rules that you need to live by. When we're very young, we're completely open to what our surroundings teach us, whether it's our parents or other family members, teachers in school, a priest in our church, or whatever. We're like open vessels, and everything we see, hear and feel in our early years, is being programmed into our brains. We are strongly influenced by the environment we live in. If you grew up in Japan, you will most likely speak Japanese and act according to the Japanese culture. If you grew up in Russia, you will probably speak Russian and act in accordance with Russian culture. And so on. If the dominant religion in your society or family is Buddhism, you will most likely be a buddhist yourself. If your family's religion is Islam, you'll probably be a muslim. If you grew up in a Christian family, you'll most likely be a Christian. You get my point. We are all programmed from our birth by the surroundings we grow up in. This makes it very likely that we continue to act in accordance with what our immediate surroundings expect from us for many, many years, even after we have become adults and able to think for ourselves. Most people just go on living like that, on autopilot, and never stop to think for themselves or question anything about their upbringing or the rules they have learned from their family and society. Many are quite happy with it, because they dont' know about anything else. Others may find themselves more and more frustrated and unhappy as the years go by because they start feeling that the rules they have been taught to live by are not in alignment with who they truly are. This has been the case for me. For so many years I lived my life according to other people's rules or expectations of me - or what I thought they expected, and it made me feel very frustrated and unhappy. Don't get me wrong: I'm not trying to blame anyone. My peers only taught me what they had been taught themselves. But it took me nearly 50 years to get to the point where I managed to break free from that and start living my life in accordance with who I truly am. I had to make some changes in my family life, like getting a divorce, and I have lost contact with some relatives and friends in the wake of it. But at least now I know who I can rely on to love me for who I am and not just because I live by their ideas of what I should or should not do or be. Showing up as yourself can be tough. Especially if your honest self, your true self is not what the people close to you want you to be. But dear friend, I'm telling you: You are the only one who can live your life, and if the people close to you can not accept you for who you are, then you're actually better off without them. I'm no saying that you need to shut some people completely out of your life. That might not even be possible. But if some people make you unhappy and have a negative influence on you or are "telling you off" or trying to make you live a life that is not in alignment with who you are, then at least try to keep your distance to those people and don't necessarily tell them everything you do or think. Just start living your life! And when you meet new people, be yourself from the very first minute. Get personal! Show them who you are. That doesn't mean that you should pour your heart out or tell them your inner thoughts and feelings right away, because that's something you shouldn't do to everybody anyways. That takes a closer relationship built on mutual trust, and will probably take some time. But show up as YOU, and don't try to be someone you're not. Because people want to know YOU. The reason you connect with someone is probably because you saw something in each other that you instantly liked and felt attracted to. We all have that intuitive feeling when we meet someone. In just a few seconds we have made up our mind whether we like that person or not. That's why you don't want to make a bad first impression. The first impression is so important. If you feel uncertain and don't know how you should act to make that first impression a good one and in accordance with your inner personality, that is something you can learn. Body language is the first thing we all react to, and a smile can be all it takes. But awareness is key. When you're aware of how you want people to see you, and learn how you can make that come through in your personality, you will feel more relaxed and natural after a little bit of practice. So start thinking about who you are and how you can start showing that. Because starting to show up as the real you after having tried to act in a certain way for many, many years, - well, it takes a little practice. But you can do it! And when you show up as your true self, you can be sure that the people who connect with you and show you that they want to have you in their life, are the ones who like you for who you truly are. That's the kind of relationships that will make you happy and bring you success on all levels in your life. And remember: It's just as important to allow other people to be their true selfs, too. Don't try to change them, but show them that you like them just the way they are (if you do!). If someone's personality is completely off in your book, you don't need to keep them in your life. So to sum up Reason # 2: If you want to build good and healthy relationships with people in your life, whether in business or on a personal level, you must get personal. Be yourself. Show what your values are. Be true to yourself and don't let others manipulate you into doing or being something you're not.  Picture by Elle Hughes on Pexels
I hope you liked this article. If so, I hope you'll follow my blog and maybe share the article with someone else who might like it, too. À bientôt!  Photo by PhotoMIX Company from Pexels. Life doesn't always unfold exactly the way you want it to, no matter how positive you've been thinking and how well you've been planning. Sometimes you think you're focusing on the right things, but subconsciously you might have been focusing on what you don't want, because you've been worried about a certain scenario. And then you might experience that part of that "worst case" scenario is what you end up experiencing in your life, and NOT the things you believe you've been planning for. This might set you back for a while and make you depressed, but I'm telling you: When these kind of things happen, the best you can do is to try and focus on how you can change the situation for the better, - make the best out of it. As the saying goes: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" This is something I have experienced more than once in my own life, and I'm actually going through a period like that right now. I've been a positive person most of my life and have learned not to worry too much. It took a while, though, before I understood the connection between my thoughts and emotions and what unfolded in my life, but when I did, I managed to correct my course and have better experiences on a general basis. This is how I finally managed to get rid of a more or less constant migraine after a few very destressing years, and also managed to improve my day-to-day situation on so many levels. However: There are things in life that have been harder to keep out of mind than others, and harder to avoid worrying about. This has especially been the case with my health, and right now I'm going through a stressful time because of my eyes, or to be exact: One of my eyes. I've got a macula hole on my left eye, and will be submitted to hospital tomorrow for an eye operation. I'm not too concerned about the operation itself, because I will be sleeping during the procedure, but I'm kind of worried and stressed out about the first 3 days especially and also the first 3-4 weeks after the operation. But I'll do my best not to worry. This, too, shall pass... I've been struggling with this problem for a year now, and it has highly affected my ability to work online etc, so I've experienced a real set-back in my plans for an online business. At times I've been really depressed about it. I have no idea what the future will bring and how much I'll be able to do with my online business plans for the next few months. I might have to reconsider everything. But I won't give up quite yet. I've decided to "make lemonade" - try to find a new way of doing things. And I will succeed. I just might have to change my plans. I might have to take a completely different direction. But I'm trusting that it will be fine in the end. I'll focus on the possibilities, not the problems. I'll slow down and seek guidance from my inner self and from the Universe / God, and I'm sure I'll find the way. I actually quite like lemons. So I'll make lemonade ... Stay tuned and see what happens! And if life has given you some lemons, too, - let's make lemonade together! Everything will turn out fine! We might just have to change direction... À bientôt! 
 Photo by Max Vakhtbovych from Pexels I'm passionate about living with intention, about living simply. I find that having a higher awareness around the way I want to live, has improved my life significantly. A simpler life equals a better life, the way I see it. Let me rule out one misconception right away: By simple I don't necessarily mean minimalistic. Yes, I'm definitly pro decluttering and getting rid of things you don't really need, but I don't mean that you have to strip down your home to a bare minimum to live a simple life. I'm definitly in favor of having things around you that bring you joy and also add to the quality of your life in different ways. This can be things like books, films, plants, board games, beautiful china, soft cushions... whatever brings joy to YOU. Having more things around you doesn't mean that your home needs to be a mess. There are beautiful ways you can organize your things so that each item has its own place and also gets the attention it deserves. You can do this either by displaying each item in a way that makes it stand out, or by keeping it stored away most of the time and just take it out on special occasions, which will give it a very special value. When I grew up, we had in my childhood home a beautiful blue glass bowl with gold details on it. This bowl only came out on special occasions, like Christmas or certain anniversaries. It became an item that all of us siblings really cherished (we are 6), and when our parents had died and we were dividing some things between us, this bowl was high up on everybody's "wish list", I think. Of course, only one of us could actually have it, and I was not that one, but it was OK. There were other cherished items, too, so we made sure that we all got one thing that we considered special, - one thing that we wanted to keep in remberance of our parents and of a happy childhood. We all had different memories and different favorites, so that was fine. On that note, I might also add that I myself have always been of the opinion that if anyone is going to envy me something, I'd rather not have it. No matter how dear a thing might be to me, it's definitly not worth falling out over!  Picture from ebay - only meant as illustration. The mentioned bowl didn't look exactly like this. This was just an example of how one beloved item can really get that extra attention and love that it probably deserves. Things are mostly made for either a practical purpose or for pleasure - and sometimes both - and I believe that the things you surround yourself with should have at least one of those meanings to you. If they don't, you should get rid of them. Don't keep anything just because you got it as a present or don't have the "heart" to dispose of it. Ask yourself: Do I need this? Do I like this thing? Does it give me a good feeling to look at it? If your answer to all these questions is NO, then you know what to do. You don't necessarily need to throw it in the garbage bin, - you can give it away or try to sell it. Some items may be of high value and can bring in some cash, which is always good. I'll come back to how you can simplify your surroundings in a future article, and I'll tell you especially about how you can successfully do it the French way. But living a simpler life isn't just about things. It's just as much - if not more - about simplifying your daily tasks. It's about getting more time to do the things you enjoy, and ditching what you don't really want to spend time on. Very often we end up saying yes to things that other people suggest, even if we'd rather do something else. Why? Well, sometimes it's simply out of politeness or because we're afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Other times it's because we feel obliged to. We also might feel that other people's needs are so much more important than our own, - which is of course total crap! The result is often that we feel completely overwhelmed and exhausted by all the things we feel that we "should" be doing. If you're a person who keeps letting other people dictate your agenda: Stop doing that! Start practicing the word NO a bit more often! And you don't even have to give any reason why you're saying no. It's your right to decide how you want to spend your own time. It's really nobody's business. If you'd rather spend an evening in your bathtub with a good book instead of going out with your colleagues, then you should do that.  Picture by cottonbro from Pexels.
I suggest that you start right now and think about how you can create a better life for yourself. What can you do right now to take that first step towards simplifying your life and getting rid of stress and overwhelm? One thing that can help you is to sign up for my FREE 5-day email course, which will really kick-start you in the right direction. Another option is to read some of my previous articles on the subject, like "Why being a people pleaser prevents you from living the good life that you could have" and other articles in the category Intentional Living (see menu of categories on the right). Whatever you decide: I'll definitly be writing a lot more about this in future articles, and I'm also working on an upcoming book - La Vie Adorable Blueprint - which I'll be giving away 50 FREE copies of when it's finished. If you want to be among the ones who get a FREE copy of the book sent in the mail, you can sign up for it here. I hope you enjoyed this article, and that you'll share it with someone you know who might enjoy it, too. À bientôt!  Even if you can't travel to France right now, you can Frenchify your life right where you are. I love to start my day with a touch of France! Here's how I Frenchified my breakfast today: I prepared a mini-baguette that I got from my local supermarket, and ate it with some cheese and a few grapes from a Le Creuset plate. I also made myself a café au lait, and then made sure I had a view to La Tour Eiffel (on my table). I also surrounded myself with a magazine about French interiors and some books about Provence, like Peter Mayle's book "A Year in Provence". This was all it took to get me in the right mood of joie de vivre that I love! The French do NOT eat croissants and sweet pastry for breakfast every day, but of course this is also a way to Frenchify your breakfast, but maybe only in the weekends. You can either make your own croissants by following this recipe, or maybe you can get some from your local baker or grocery store. (Please note that the recipe I've linked to is not an affiliate link, so I get no commission for sharing it with you. You're of course free to look up other recipes on the internet, which I'm sure you'll find plenty of.) Fresh croissants with some delicious jam - preferrably some jam from Bonne Maman.  Picture by Daria Shevstova from Pexels.  Picture by cottonbro from Pexels.
 Picture by Yan from Pexels.
So you're in this situation where you've been bending backwards to create a new life for yourself. For example: Maybe you've done everything imaginable to start an online business. You've been working really hard to create content, post on social media, be consistent, and you've been positive like hell and really believed in yourself. You've created lots of opt-ins and free stuff to build your email-list and an audience that would eventually buy your great digital products or physical products or whatever it is that you're going for. But nothing happens. No response. No list. No audience. Which again means no business. You just want to say "F*** it all!" and quit. And I don't blame you. And now I'll be completely honest with you: All the things I've described above is my own experience exactly. I've spent years doing all those things, and for what? Nothing. Or at least so it seems. Not a single penny has landed in my bank account for years, except for the few dollars that I myself and my close family have spent on "buying" my own products just to see if things worked as they should with my web-store! For years I've had no real response from people who has read my blog or listened to my (few and not so consistent) video broadcasts. So I don't really know if anyone actually reads what I write or listens to what I'm trying to communicate, or is even remotely interested in what I offer. No wonder I find myself wanting to give up half of the time, don't you agree? So what keeps me going? Good question! I've been asking myself the same thing on a regular basis! The answer? It's not all about the money. It's about living a good life. And even if the money hasn't yet come pouring in quite the way I'd like it to, I'm still improving my life day by day. I'm working on myself every day, to learn more, become a better version of myself in every way, upgrade my personal standard, set boundaries, do the things that make me happy, take care of my health and wellbeing, connect with (and surround myself with) people that lift me up and support and love me, and I simply do everything possible to live with intention. I'm intentionally trying every day to make room for what is important and ditch what is not. So I keep going, no matter what. Because I believe in my mission. I live what I preach! Even if I still haven't earned the money I need to really get to the next level. Yet. But I know I'll get there. Just tag along and you'll see. Because the principles I teach are simple, and they do work - if you follow them. And here's my main message for today: The most important thing is not all the things you're DOING. It's your MINDSET. If you really want that independent life where you work with what you love, when you want and from where you want, and make a solid income from it, an income that will make you financially free, - or (business or not) if you want to create a life for yourself that is completely and unapologetically on your own terms, and to live with intention.... Work on your mindset first. Because here's the thing: No matter if I cannot yet show you incredible wealth and success as a result of my online business (because I'm not quite there yet), I'm here to tell you that what I've just (very honestly) shared with you, is not a proof of failure, either! Because I believe that my life is improving every day, and with great personal success. The reason I'm not able to "show you the money" quite yet, as a proof of my own professional success, - is because I have actually done a few things wrong in the past when it comes to my online presence, and the most important ones are: 1) I haven't been clear enough on what my message actually is 2) I haven't been clear enough on who my audience is 3) I haven't been consistent enough, not visible enough 4) I've been doubting myself a lot, like whether or not I have something to say that is important to other people... ... and I could probably go on, but I'll just stop there, because this isn't really an article about how to create an online business, and I don't really want to focus on my mistakes, but on what you should do to have personal success. (I might come back to things related to professional success in later articles, though, as I move along with my own business.) So if you've already done a lot to move in the direction of your dreams, but you haven't gotten any visible results yet: Hang in there! Here are 3 steps that can change your situation (and this goes for both personal and professional success): 1) Stop DOING so much! :) Instead: Focus on just a few things every day. Make them easy and doable. Don't set yourself up for failure. 2) Stop over-thinking and trying to figure out HOW you can best succeed. Do what feels right for you and makes you happy, and have an open mind to people around you. Someone might open an unexpeted door for you with incredible opportunities, or help you with something you've been wondering how to cope with. 3) Set a POSITIVE INTENTION for every day, and then GO WITH THE FLOW! This may seem too simple, but why make it complicated? That's what we very often tend to do, and I believe that might be the reason why you haven't seen any results so far in your struggles to create a new and better life for yourself. So I suggest you try to follow these 3 steps for the next couple of weeks and see where that leads you. And I'd love to hear from you about that, so feel free to send me a note! I've written a lot about mindset and how your thoughts create your reality in other articles on my blog, so why not take some time now to read more about that or listen to this episode of "What If....? If you liked this article and want to learn more about Intentional Living, check out my FREE 5-day email course, "Intentional Living - The French Way" right now! I also hope you'll follow my blog and / or leave a comment below to let me know what you think of it. À bientôt!  Screenshot from The List's YouTube video "Why The Duke of Hastings of Bridgerton looks so familiar" You've probably heard by now: Netflix has had great success with its new series "Bridgerton", set in Regency London of the late 18th -/ early 19th centuries. And the name on every lady's lips, both in the series and in real life, is "The Duke of Hastings" or "Simon Bassett", played by 31 year old Regé-Jean Page. I was one of many who was looking forward to the release of the series on December 25th, but I didn't start watching it until just after New Year, and quite frankly: To begin with I didn't really think I would like it, because the opening scenes didn't quite catch me, so I was considering whether or not I should stop watching altogether. But then the Duke of Hastings entered the scene, and any thought of quitting the series was swiftly cast aside. I just knew immediately that I wanted more. Was this just a shallow decision on my behalf, made on the grounds of his dazzling looks? Well, I must admit that his dazzling looks had a great deal to do with it. But can you blame me? I mean: Tall, dark and handsome is never wrong, is it? However: I'm actually not at all shallow, and good looks is just something that initially makes me find a man interesting. There has to be more to the equation than that for a man to keep my interest over a long period of time. So what was it about the Duke of Hastings that made me binge-watch the whole of Season 1 of "Bridgerton" in one sitting? Well, first of all, let me just say that I'm a huge fan of British period dramas, so the whole setting was already great. But "Bridgerton" is also very different from other dramas in this genre because of the fact that in it, racially diverse characters populate all classes of British society, including the highest echelons. And the most eligible bachelor of all is a black man: The Duke of Hastings. This is something that highly appeals to me with this series, and it makes it a drama that I find very appropriate for this time and space that we find ourselves in. The actor portraying The Duke of Hastings, Regé-Jean Page, said it very well in an interview with NPR's Ailsa Chang (quote): "I think it's incredibly important that when we are indulging ourselves in these kind of great, big Cinderella fantasies, that everyone gets to see themselves as worthy of status and glamour and love and redemption. And being the protagonist in these stories and being the protagonist in these settings where you can see yourself as rich, attractive and admirable is important for absolutely everyone." But what about the charachter himself, The Duke of Hastings - what is it that makes him so attractive to us women? Well, apart from the fact that "he is a tall, dark, handsome, brooding, thoroughly broken man who is struggling with issues of legacy and pride and trauma, and in that way fits pretty well into the archetype of (...) the stoic, brooding Clint Eastwood type (...), very kind of Darcy, Heathcliff... all these men who are hugely emotionally stunted..." (again quoted from Regé-Jean Page), - he's also (as Ailsa Chang pointed out in the podcast interview) quite different from other Regency-era romantic leads. What perhaps ultimately makes him a modern character, is that even though he's a man struggling with his demons, he seems vulnerable. That's something I personally find highly attractive in a man, and quite frankly: I believe most women do. The Duke of Hastings is struggling to relate with Daphne, the woman who eventually becomes his wife. But he manages to figure out how to (I quote the actor) "open the doors in himself that make him worthy of love and capable of giving love to her", - and that, ladies, is - I believe - the whole clue to a successful relationship: Opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the other person and really trying to understand who they are and who you are. Women have generally been better at this than most men, but - thank God! - this seems to have changed in the last century, and men are picking up on this more and more and are beginning to understand that masculinity isn't all about being strong and never showing any feelings, but that showing vulnerability is actually a strength. Regé-Jean Page said it so beautifully in the interview, when asked what he most of all wants audiences to learn from The Duke of Hastings: "That here is always a place to listen and evolve and grow; that there is more than one type of strength; that a lot of the time, exerting strength and dominance - which Simon, I think, starts from - can in fact be what's holding you back, what's making you weaker. And I think that figuring out how to open the doors in yourself that make you worthy of love and capable of giving love is that ongoing conversation that I was most interested in exploring." Well, I must say: He did it well. I don't think I'm alone in falling completely in love with the Duke of Hastings. Showing vulnerability, combined with his manners, his show of respect for her, his ability to have intellectual and honest conversations with her, his way of conducting himself, and his classy way of dressing, his immaculate taste ... it all made the "package" complete. But what absolutely cracked me up was this: I just adored the way he discretely talked to Daphne about things that helped her discover her own sexuality in a way that would take away any feel of shame that she might have around it and help her see it as a completely natural thing. This really melted my heart, especially since I could personally relate to what she might think and feel about these matters. I grew up in a religious family and ... well, I had similar thoughts of shame and guilt around exploring my own sexuality when I was very young, so I absolutly loved the way the Duke of Hastings addressed this. Just take a look at this scene from the series: And to be absolutely honest: His way of gently and passionately making love to Daphne and making her feel like the most important and desirable woman on earth, - that alone was something that made him a highly desirable man. So what can men of today learn from the Duke of Hastings? Exactly those things that I've mentioned in this article, and then some. Need a recap? Well, here you have it - my very special "Golden list" of attractive traits in a man: Vulnerability The ability to open up to recieving and giving love on a deep level Good manners Good taste / showing interest in grooming yourself and looking good without "showing off" Discretion Respect for her as a woman and as a human being Welcoming the fact that she's different from you as a man and therefor also someone you can learn new and valuable things from The ability to have intellectual and honest conversations with a woman and being fully present in the moment and not easily distracted by other things Tenderness & intimacy Making a woman feel like she's the one, - the one you adore and desire and love above anyone else on this planet Hard to live up to? Well, any man who at least TRIES to be some of these things to a woman, will be considered highly attractive and desirable, - at least in MY book. --------- I hope you enjoyed this article and found it valuable. If so, I can inform you that I'll be writing more in the near future on both manners, etiquette and what I regard as attractive traits in both men and women, - among other things. So stay tuned! And if you haven't already watched "Bridgerton", I suggest you do! À bientôt!  Happy New Year, my friend! I want to share my intentions for this new year with you, and I hope it will inspire you to make your own declaration for 2021. These are my intentions for this year: I will continue to design my life the way I want it and move in the direction of my dreams. I will think thoughts of prosperity and success and let go of all fear, worries and negativity. I will savor every moment and keep decluttering my life in every way, which means getting rid of the things/beliefs etc that no longer serve me, and make room for more of what is important to me. I will make sure to incorporate more activity in my daily routines, in order to get enough exercise on a regular basis and get a leaner and stronger body. I will eat proper, healthy and nutrituous food and use quality produce to prepare my meals. I will do more of what makes me happy. I will manage my money in a good and sensible manner. I will find more ways to do work that can help others and at the same time enable me to use my creativity and create financial freedom for myself. I will love fiercly. I will meet life with full presence and power. I will reclaim my agenda. I will defeat my demons. I will advance with abandon. I will practice joy and gratitude. I will amplify love. I will inspire greatness. I will slow down and stop stressing. --------------- I hope you liked this post. If it inspired you to make your own declaration for 2021, or if you'd like to have a shorter version of it that I have created for you, you can get a printable version by following the link below. I've called it THE FEMALE LIFE DESIGNER'S MANIFESTO  Picture by Olya Kobruseva via Pexels Christmas is soon upon us, and if you’re in need of some gift inspiration, I’m here to help. Whether you’re buying a gift for a Francophile or simply wanting to buy gifts like the French, I have the gift guide for you. Keep in mind that some of these gifts can be a bit pricy, but there are gifts for every budget on it. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be luxurious! And, a little tip: never discuss the price of a gift. The French find it both uncouth and uncivilised, and I think we should stop focusing on the price of gifts. You should never feel like you have to spend more than you can afford, or that a gift isn’t nice enough if it was cheap. It’s the though that counts! So, without further ado, let’s dive into some tips for cadeaux your Francophile friends will enjoy (and for anyone really, there are some lovely gift ideas on this list)! 1. French food  Picture by Leah Kelly via Pexels Even though you maybe aren’t currently in France, you can still find French food items in many shops, and especially if you go to a specialty shop. Suggestions for French food items to gift are French cheese (some suggestions are Brie, Saint Agur or Saint Albray), French macaroons, Madeleines or some luxurious French chocolate that will make the receiver say “Oh la la!” 2. A cheeseboard  If you have a Francophile friend, why not help them Frenchify their dinner parties? A French dinner party rarely ends without getting the cheese out. So, what’s more perfect than giving them a cheeseboard? You can find cheeseboards in all shapes and sizes at any price level. If you want to splurge you can include a set of cheese knives or some cheese to go with the board.  Picture by RODNAE Productions via Pexels 3. French wine, liquor or champagne  Picture by Sabel Blanco via Pexels Continuing the “food-theme” we move onto French alcohol. If you want to give someone alcohol you should always look into two things in advance: 1) do they actually consume alcohol? 2) Do they have any preferences? Once you know that it’s safe to get them alcohol as a gift, you can look for a nice French wine, some French liquor, or, if you really want to splurge: Champagne from Champagne. 4. French perfume or cologne  Picture by Valeria Boltneva via Pexels If you know the persons taste in scents, a French perfume or cologne is a great gift. From Chanel to Jean Paul Gaultier, there are a lot to choose from. Some classic French perfumes include Chanel n°5 and Miss Dior. If you need more ideas, have a look at this list of The most Iconic French Perfumes Of All Time. For colognes Dior Homme, Dior Eau Sauvage or Jean Paul Gaultier La Male would be a good choice for a French classic. 5. French make-up  Picture by Romina BM via Pexels It’s something about those French brands … By Terry, Chanel, Dior, Givenchy, Lancôme … just the names ooze luxury and class. Most of us will never be able to afford a classic Chanel bag, so the next best thing is their makeup. A nice lipstick or nail polish is a small, but luxurious gift most women will appreciate. 6. A subscription to a French magazine  Picture by me If we can’t be in France, we can dream of it, can’t we? So, why not give your Francophile friend a magazine subscription? This is a gift that keeps on giving, since the recipient will get a new magazine at regular intervals. Some classics to choose from are Marie Claire, Vouge and Elle. If you want something more “outside the box”, there are plenty of others to choose from, like Télérama (which covers TV, music, cinema and more) or LiRE (which covers books and literature). ("French Cottage" in the picture above is published by Victoria Magazine / Victoria Classics.) To find subscriptions available in your country, you can visit Unipress who (according to them) deliver 650 different magazines to more than 190 countries. 7. French lessons If your friend is a Francophile, but doesn’t know the language very well, it could be nice to gift them some French lessons. If there aren’t any classes available in your local area, you can gift them a subscription to a language learning service like Babbel. 8. Crêpe Pan (and a wooden batter spreader) Crêpes are a French dessert classic – but you can also make them with a savoury filling. The sweet ones are called crêpes sucrées, while the savoury galettes are called crêpes salées. A proper crêpe pan will be a perfect gift for Francophiles and French expats alike! And you have plenty of options. You can buy anything from the easy to use non-stick ones to electric griddles. Just remember to also get them a wooden batter spreader so they can get a professional finish to their crêpes!  Crêpes are a French dessert classic – but you can also make them with a savoury filling. The sweet ones are called crêpes sucrées, while the savoury galettes are called crêpes salées. A proper crêpe pan will be a perfect gift for Francophiles and French expats alike! And you have plenty of options. You can buy anything from the easy to use non-stick ones to electric griddles. Just remember to also get them a wooden batter spreader so they can get a professional finish to their crêpes! 9. Books  Picture from amazon.com - photographer unknown Whether you choose to get something by a classic poet or a more contemporary book, books are a nice gift for just about anyone. Try to find something in their favourite genre, but if you don’t know any of their favourites, a book about French food or French lifestyle is a safe choice. One example is the book Bright Lights Paris: Shop, Dine & Live...Parisian Style. 10. A classic piece of clothing  Picture from amazon.com - product picture for VTGDR (link in article) If you want to gift someone a piece of clothing, choose classic pieces and neutral colours. Pieces like these will never go out of style and is therefore a safe and sustainable choice. Classic pieces can include: a Breton stripe top, a black jumper, some nice wool gloves, or a scarf. If you’re buying for a man in your life a nice wool tie is also a stylish option. Whenever you are looking for clothing, remember that natural fibres like wool, linen and cotton are best. They are more breathable to wear and keep better. In addition, they do not release microplastics in the wash. 11. Candles or a reed diffuser  Picture from amazon.com - product picture (link in article) A scented candle or reed diffuser can be a nice touch in any home, and can help you relax. It’s no secret that a high-end candle can be expensive, but it is a really nice gift. Among the high-end brands, Diptyque might be the most famous of them all. They are known for quality and beautiful designs. Another well-known high-end brand is Ladurée. However, there are (luckily) many budget friendly candles and reed diffusers to be found. Some of these even produce candles that are good dupes for Diptyques scents. Some brands to look for are Brooklyn Candle Studio, Tussie Mussie and Maison Marie Louise. An alternative to scented candles is a reed diffuser. These create a long lasting scent in your home. One advantage the reed diffuser holds is that you can leave it wherever you want, and don’t have to keep an eye on it like you have to do with a burning candle. Many candle brands carry both candles and reed diffusers. Reed diffusers are generally easy to find, but some nice ones to mention are the ones from The White Company and the Danish brand Meraki. 12. Something for the bath or shower  Picture by me I think most people would like to receive a nice quality bath or shower product. Most of us don’t splurge on these items in our everyday life, but there is nothing like a good spa-like product. It can elevate any mundane Monday morning shower. Some brand suggestions are Le Petit Marseillais, Durance or Bioderma. Another well know brand is Yves Rocher. 13. Savon de Marseille  Savon de Marseille is a soap with long traditions. It has been produced in Marseille for around 600 years. Traditionally it was made by mixing sea water from the Mediterranean Sea, olive oil and alkaline ash from sea plants. The mixture was heated for several days before it was poured into molds. Today there are two main varieties: one made with olive oil and one made with palm oil (or a mix of palm and coconut oil). Savon de Marseille is often used for washing delicate garments like wool and silk. It’s also used as a hand soap, but then mostly in it’s liquid form. 14. Christmas ornaments from Paris  Picture from amazon.com - product picture (link in article) You can find many Christmas ornaments shaped like famous landmarks from Paris. These can be really beautiful on any three, and will remind the receiver of one of their favourite places in the world. You can find ornaments like Arc de Triumph or the tour Eiffel in the online shop Christmas Company or on Amazon. 15. Tea  Product picture from mariagefreres.com (link in article)
For the tea lovers in your life, this is a great gift. Teas from the famous Mariage Freres will always be popular. This tea company sells everything from Darjeeling to Earl Grey and different fruit and herbal teas. ---------- I hope you found this article valuable! Feel free to comment below and also share the article with someone else who might be interested. And if you're interested in reading more articles related to France, check out the French Lifestyle and Everything French categories in the menu bar of my blog. |
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