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Life doesn't always unfold exactly the way you want it to, no matter how positive you've been thinking and how well you've been planning. Sometimes you think you're focusing on the right things, but subconsciously you might have been focusing on what you don't want, because you've been worried about a certain scenario. And then you might experience that part of that "worst case" scenario is what you end up experiencing in your life, and NOT the things you believe you've been planning for.
This might set you back for a while and make you depressed, but I'm telling you: When these kind of things happen, the best you can do is to try and focus on how you can change the situation for the better, - make the best out of it. As the saying goes: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"
This is something I have experienced more than once in my own life, and I'm actually going through a period like that right now. I've been a positive person most of my life and have learned not to worry too much. It took a while, though, before I understood the connection between my thoughts and emotions and what unfolded in my life, but when I did, I managed to correct my course and have better experiences on a general basis. This is how I finally managed to get rid of a more or less constant migraine after a few very destressing years, and also managed to improve my day-to-day situation on so many levels.
However: There are things in life that have been harder to keep out of mind than others, and harder to avoid worrying about. This has especially been the case with my health, and right now I'm going through a stressful time because of my eyes, or to be exact: One of my eyes. I've got a macula hole on my left eye, and will be submitted to hospital tomorrow for an eye operation. I'm not too concerned about the operation itself, because I will be sleeping during the procedure, but I'm kind of worried and stressed out about the first 3 days especially and also the first 3-4 weeks after the operation. But I'll do my best not to worry. This, too, shall pass...
I've been struggling with this problem for a year now, and it has highly affected my ability to work online etc, so I've experienced a real set-back in my plans for an online business. At times I've been really depressed about it. I have no idea what the future will bring and how much I'll be able to do with my online business plans for the next few months. I might have to reconsider everything. But I won't give up quite yet. I've decided to "make lemonade" - try to find a new way of doing things. And I will succeed. I just might have to change my plans. I might have to take a completely different direction. But I'm trusting that it will be fine in the end. I'll focus on the possibilities, not the problems. I'll slow down and seek guidance from my inner self and from the Universe / God, and I'm sure I'll find the way. I actually quite like lemons. So I'll make lemonade ...
Stay tuned and see what happens!
And if life has given you some lemons, too, - let's make lemonade together!
Everything will turn out fine! We might just have to change direction...
3 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS AND NOTHING SEEMS TO HAPPEN
Picture by Yan from Pexels.
So you're in this situation where you've been bending backwards to create a new life for yourself. For example: Maybe you've done everything imaginable to start an online business. You've been working really hard to create content, post on social media, be consistent, and you've been positive like hell and really believed in yourself.
You've created lots of opt-ins and free stuff to build your email-list and an audience that would eventually buy your great digital products or physical products or whatever it is that you're going for.
But nothing happens. No response. No list. No audience. Which again means no business.
You just want to say "F*** it all!" and quit.
And I don't blame you.
And now I'll be completely honest with you:
All the things I've described above is my own experience exactly.
I've spent years doing all those things, and for what?
Nothing. Or at least so it seems.
Not a single penny has landed in my bank account for years, except for the few dollars that I myself and my close family have spent on "buying" my own products just to see if things worked as they should with my web-store!
For years I've had no real response from people who has read my blog or listened to my (few and not so consistent) video broadcasts.
So I don't really know if anyone actually reads what I write or listens to what I'm trying to communicate, or is even remotely interested in what I offer.
No wonder I find myself wanting to give up half of the time, don't you agree?
So what keeps me going?
Good question! I've been asking myself the same thing on a regular basis!
It's not all about the money.
It's about living a good life.
And even if the money hasn't yet come pouring in quite the way I'd like it to, I'm still improving my life day by day.
I'm working on myself every day, to learn more, become a better version of myself in every way, upgrade my personal standard, set boundaries, do the things that make me happy, take care of my health and wellbeing, connect with (and surround myself with) people that lift me up and support and love me, and I simply do everything possible to live with intention. I'm intentionally trying every day to make room for what is important and ditch what is not.
So I keep going, no matter what.
Because I believe in my mission.
I live what I preach!
Even if I still haven't earned the money I need to really get to the next level.
But I know I'll get there. Just tag along and you'll see.
Because the principles I teach are simple, and they do work - if you follow them.
And here's my main message for today:
The most important thing is not all the things you're DOING.
It's your MINDSET.
If you really want that independent life where you work with what you love, when you want and from where you want, and make a solid income from it, an income that will make you financially free, - or (business or not) if you want to create a life for yourself that is completely and unapologetically on your own terms, and to live with intention....
Work on your mindset first.
Because here's the thing: No matter if I cannot yet show you incredible wealth and success as a result of my online business (because I'm not quite there yet), I'm here to tell you that what I've just (very honestly) shared with you, is not a proof of failure, either! Because I believe that my life is improving every day, and with great personal success.
The reason I'm not able to "show you the money" quite yet, as a proof of my own professional success, - is because I have actually done a few things wrong in the past when it comes to my online presence, and the most important ones are:
1) I haven't been clear enough on what my message actually is
2) I haven't been clear enough on who my audience is
3) I haven't been consistent enough, not visible enough
4) I've been doubting myself a lot, like whether or not I have something to say that is important to other people...
... and I could probably go on, but I'll just stop there, because this isn't really an article about how to create an online business, and I don't really want to focus on my mistakes, but on what you should do to have personal success. (I might come back to things related to professional success in later articles, though, as I move along with my own business.)
So if you've already done a lot to move in the direction of your dreams, but you haven't gotten any visible results yet:
Hang in there!
Here are 3 steps that can change your situation (and this goes for both personal and professional success):
1) Stop DOING so much! :) Instead: Focus on just a few things every day.
Make them easy and doable. Don't set yourself up for failure.
2) Stop over-thinking and trying to figure out HOW you can best succeed.
Do what feels right for you and makes you happy, and have an open
mind to people around you. Someone might open an unexpeted door for
you with incredible opportunities, or help you with something you've
been wondering how to cope with.
3) Set a POSITIVE INTENTION for every day, and then GO WITH THE
This may seem too simple, but why make it complicated? That's what we very often tend to do, and I believe that might be the reason why you haven't seen any results so far in your struggles to create a new and better life for yourself.
So I suggest you try to follow these 3 steps for the next couple of weeks and see where that leads you. And I'd love to hear from you about that, so feel free to send me a note!
I've written a lot about mindset and how your thoughts create your reality in other articles on my blog, so why not take some time now to read more about that or listen to this episode of "What If....?
If you liked this article and want to learn more about Intentional Living, check out my FREE 5-day email course, "Intentional Living - The French Way" right now!
I also hope you'll follow my blog and / or leave a comment below to let me know what you think of it.
Do you feel stuck in your past? Is it sort of "haunting" you and keeping you from doing the things you really want to do? Maybe you're not even aware of how much your past is affecting your decisions. You just feel that things are never going your way, or that you're constantly struggling with certain issues or situations that keep occurring in your life again and again, no matter what you do.
I don't know what your past looks like. Maybe you've experienced neglect or abuse. Maybe you've struggled with poor health or severe illness all your life. Maybe you've always been poor. Maybe you never did well in school and nobody ever believed that you could ever accomplish anything, and maybe they even said it to your face so you lost confidence in yourself and it became a belief deep within you.
Or maybe you did have everything going for you: A good upbringing and a happy childhood with lots of opportunities. Maybe you did well in school and got a good education. Maybe you found a great job and has had a certain amount of success in your life.
And still, you're not happy. You feel that there must be something more, but you feel stuck with what you have and can't really put your finger on what's wrong, either. And you feel bad because you can't make yourself love the way things are, even though everything's "perfect" and other people kind of envy you and think that you've really made a good life for yourself. Complaining isn't your thing, and it wouldn't be proper, because hey, you have a good life, don't you...? Don't you!? So what more do you want!?
Either way, - a past full of struggle or a past full of opportunities: You feel stuck. You feel that your past is the foundation that determines how the rest of your life will look like. Your path has been laid. Your past experiences and conditions have made you into who you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's just the way things are. This is what life has given you, and you just have to deal with it and do the best that you can with it.
Well, I'm telling you that's not how it has to be.
You're not your past
Whether you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth or not: You're not your past. Because what you experienced in your past was a result of the programming you were exposed to by your peers: your parents and extended family, your teachers, your religious leaders, the society you were brought up in. They've all programmed you with their own beliefs about life and how things should be, and eventually these beliefs became your own. You've learned rules to follow, you've been told that you should act in this or that way to make sure you fit in with the rest of your community and not upset or provoke anyone by being different. And maybe you've been told that you should be grateful for what you have (no matter how little or how much that is) and not strive for more, because it wouldn't be appropriate. Or maybe they've even told you that you're not worthy of more. Who are you to think that you deserve anything more?
You are worthy and you can have it all
But guess what: You ARE worthy of more! In fact, you're worthy of all good things! And the best of all is that you can have it! You can have it all! It's totally achievable!
I don't know if you believe in God or the Universe or a source energy that's in all of us, - or whatever it is that you believe. And it doesn't really matter. What I want you to know is that whatever you believe, whether you're religious or spiritual or an agnostic: YOU have the power to create your life the way you want it. You and only you.
How is that?
Your mind is like a cannon acting like a boomerang
What you experience in your life is a direct result of what you think about day in and day out. Your thoughts become your reality. You get what you focus on, whether it's positive or negative. Your mind is like a cannon, loaded with thoughts, only it works like a boomerang and sends back to you whatever it is you're projecting out into the universe. So if you want only good things to come to you, you must stop sending out all those negative thoughts and start projecting only positive, happy and prosperous thoughts instead.
I'm telling you: If you really understood the effect your thoughts have on your reality, you'd never want to think a negative thought again!
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
I'm sure you've heard this quote from Henry Ford. And it really is as simple as that. If you keep thinking that you're not good enough or wise enough or not worthy ... or that you're not good with money or that you're not educated enough to get a better paid job, or that your health is preventing you from living the life you want, or that other circumstances like your family, your kids or society - or whatever it is that you're thinking - are preventing you from fulfilling your dreams ... then that's how it will continue to be. For sure.
Because you simply can't think a negative thought and expect a positive result.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
If you think something's holding you back or keeping you from doing what you want ... well, I'm telling you: It's all in your mind. It's not real.
You can choose what to think
So my advise to you today is this: Start thinking positive thoughts from this moment forward.
And when you do, I promise you that you'll soon start noticing a positive effect in your life. And you're in total control here! Because you can choose to think positive thoughts, no matter what life throws at you. Nobody else can decide what you should think. Only if you let them. And whatever your past has been: It doesn't have to be your tomorrow. It doesn't have to be your TODAY. And today is really all we've got. So make the decision today that you'll start thinking positive thoughts and only focus on what you DO want, and not on what you don't want. I promise you: Your future self will thank you for it!
If you want to hear more about this topic, I suggest you watch the episode I broadcasted on my YouTube channel a while back. You can watch it below.
If you liked this blog post and / or the video, please feel free to leave a comment below or follow my blog.
If you're one of the women who's constantly struggling with money and don't know how to turn your situation around, I want to share with you some practical advise. Because I can really relate to your struggle. I've been there myself, and not that long ago, either. But let me first share with you a little bit about my background:
I grew up as the youngest of 6 children in a small town on the west-coast of Norway in the 1960s and '70s. I lived in what you might call a middle-class family. My father worked for the railway, and my mother was a housewife for most of my childhood and teenage years. My parents were the best parents I could ever get. They were very supportive and kind and I had a great childhood. But they taugth me what they had learned when they grew up, like "You should go to school, get a proper education, and then find a decent job". And I often heard that "money doesn't grow on trees" and that as a good Christian girl I shouldn't strive to get rich, because that was .... well, not good.
So I did what most other girls at that time did: I went to school and worked hard to get good grades. Then I found myself a job and started a family. And I settled for that for quite a few years (more than 20, actually). Because we had a good life, really, - we had a good economy (well, fairly good anyway), and we had our own house and 2 wonderful children... And my husband was a kind man, and everything was OK, really...
But I came to a point in my life where I was feeling more and more that I was living my life on other people's terms. My life wasn't in accordance with who I really am. So I made some tough decisions. I ended up divorcing my husband, and I moved to a new town where there were only part-time jobs or vacancies available when I arrived there. I was even unemployed for a long time.
So I really struggled with money, and when I finally got a job, I wasn't earning enough to cover my monthly expenses. I lived paycheck to paycheck, and I really, really struggled. I ended up using credit-cards to keep my head above water. And after a while I found myself in a situation where I had maxed out all my credit-cards and there was nothing left but debt.
So I felt like I was in a swamp that I couldn't see any way out of. I tried a lot of things to turn the situation around. I applied for lots and lots of jobs. I looked on the Internet to see if there were any solutions there. But for a very long time, I couldn't find anything that could get me out of that situation and move me forward.
Until one day when I came across some really sound advice on the Internet that actually helped me turn my situation around. So I want to share that with you, but first I want to tell you about the 5 biggest mistakes women make that keep them struggling with money and never living the life they truly want. I'll start with Mistake # 5 and finish with the biggest mistake at the end.
Biggest mistake # 5: Emotional spending.
What do I mean by that?
Well, you know when you're feeling sad or angry and that nothing's going the way you want it in your life? You never have enough money to go on a vacation or buy something that costs a little bit more money than what you normally spend ... And you feel so frustrated and you say to yourself: "Damn it! I have to be able to do something to be happy! I should be able to treat myself to something nice now and then!" And then you go out and spend money on some new clothing, maybe some expensive shoes, some flowers, chocholate, a magazine or two ... or three... You know: The whole package, just to make you feel good.
And of course, it does make you feel good, there and then... But the thing is: When you go shopping in that state of mind, when you're either sad or angry, you probably end up spending a lot more money than you should. And you're probably using credit-cards to pay for it. Right? I know, because I've been there. Believe me: I've done a lot of emotional shopping in my life! And, like I said: It probably makes you feel good there and then, but for me - and I think maybe that's the case for you as well, - after a while I regret the spending. And because I used credit-cards to pay for it, I also end up deeper in debt than I was before. Right? So the problem will only escalate.
So my advice to you is this: Never go out shopping when you're feeling emotional, whether you're angry or sad or whatever. Because you will only set yourself up for failure and get even deeper into trouble. So resist that urge to go shopping when you're emotional.
This picture by unknown creator is licenced under CC BY-NC-ND
Biggest mistake # 4: Making financial decisions out of guilt.
Many women have a tendency to feel guilty when other people are in trouble, and they want to help out. They feel that they have to contribute to a difficult financial situation even if they can't afford it. Maybe you're like that, too. It can be a family member or a friend who needs money, and you feel that you just have to give it to them, even if you can't afford it.
I suggest you stop doing that, if that's something you have a tendency to do. Because you'll only risk you own financial success just because you feel guilty. Of course seeing a friend or a family member in dispair is devastating every time, so of course we want to help. But you know when you're on a plane and they go through the safety instructions, they tell you to put your own oxygen-mask on before helping others? Well, that's exactly the same principle you should be following in your financial life. Because you can't help anyone else if you're falling off a cliff yourself financially. That makes sense, don't you think?
So my strong advice to you is this: Don't give or lend out money to anyone else if you can't afford it, and if you can't be absolutely sure to get that money back before you need it yourself. You might never get it back, right? Then what?
Biggest mistake # 3: Trying to keep up with everybody else and surrounding yourself with big spenders.
If you're one of those women who keep comparing yourself to other people, like your colleagues, your neighbors, your friends, - again, you're just setting yourself up for failure. Because if you keep doing that, you'll just constantly feel that you don't have enough. So instead of comparing yourself with a lifestyle that isn't yours, you should be comparing yourself to yourself. Look at how far you actually have come, and think about what it is that you want for yourself in the future.
It's a dangerous trap when you keep comparing yourself to others. Because you don't know how they manage to have that lifestyle. In many cases people live on loans or use credit-cards to support their luxurious lifestyle, and that's not the way to go about it. It only leads to financial disaster. So make sure you stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on what it is that YOU want. And focus on getting out of debt, if you have any and you're struggling with that.
Regarding what I said about big spenders:
Maybe you've heard the saying that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? So if you're spending a lot of your time with people who are big spenders, and who live on loans and credit-cards to maintain a luxurios lifestyle, then that is something you should do whatever you can to avoid in the future. Stop surrounding yourself with people who make you spend a lot of money too, because that's most likely what happens. There is most likely a certain pressure to fit in, and we mirror other people's behavior whether we realize it or not. So don't fall into that trap. Try to set an example. Try to focus on living within your means.
Of course I'm not saying that you shouldn't strive for a lifestyle where you can afford to buy things without having to think about what they cost. On the contrary: I think you should try to get in a situation where you are that wealthy. But for the moment, when you're not, you should try to focus on setting an example: that this is a kind of spending you're not willing to keep up with. And make sure that you just focus on yourself and not everybody else.
Biggest mistake # 2: Feeling intimidated by personal finance and leaving your finances to someone else.
We've never learned about personal finances in school, or how to deal with money. What many women have been told, however, is that we should leave our personal finances to some man in our life: A father, a brother, or a husband - or some financial adviser at the bank. So if you're one of those women who have done that, - you've relied on some man in your life to take care of your money (and that man has been a husband, most likely): STOP DOING THAT!! Why? Because there's absolutely no guarantee that that man is going to stay in your life forever. Maybe he's already left you, for all I know, and that's why you're struggling. Because you've never been used to taking care of your money yourself. Anyways: If you do have a man in your life right now that you depend on: Stop depending on him! Because he might disappear out of your life in a jiffy.
I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but it's a fact: There's absolutely no guarantee that he'll stay in your life forever. He might disappear all of a sudden, either by death or divorce or imprisonment ... or even by war. So it's a dangerous trap to rely on someone else like that. Stop doing that.
There's also no guarantee that he's capable of taking care of money in a better way than you can, just because he's a man. He might end up ruining you both and you won't know anything about it before it's too late. So what then?
You're perfectly capable of taking care of your own money. In fact: You're the best person to take care of your money! Because you're the one who needs to make ends meet and should be in control of what comes in and what goes out of your bank account. You shouldn't leave that with anyone else. Especially if you're a single woman and don't have anyone else in your life that you share finances with, you should be in full control of your money. Don't leave that to your father or brother or some accountant.
You need to find a way to manage your money in a good way. You just have to learn it. It's not impossible. It's not even difficult! In fact: At the end of this blog post, I will tell you how you can get a system that will help you take control over your money in an easy and good way. But right now, let's move on to the # 1 biggest mistake women make that keep them struggling with money.
Biggest mistake # 1: Thinking that your financial future is out of your control.
This is a huge mistake. Because I'm telling you right now: Your financial future is 100 % in your control! But you have to choose to make your future better. If you're living a mediocre life right now or you're constantly struggling with money, then it's about time that you do something about it. Take responsibility. Decide that you're going to learn how you can manage your money in a good way, and then implement what you learn. And that is key. Because knowledge mean absolutely nothing if you don't implement it. Right? That's really a no-brainer, but I just want to make that perfectly clear.
Let me congratulate you!
Now you know a little bit more about the biggest mistakes women make that keep them struggling with money. You also know a little bit more about how you can avoid doing those mistakes yourself. That's a huge step in the right direction, and you have every possibility to actually start doing something about your financial situation. You can be proud of yourself for actually taking the time to read through this blog post. I know you probably have a lot on your plate, so I'm glad you took the time to read it.
How you can start taking control over your money today.
I strongly suggest that you make that decision now: That you will find a way to take care of your finances. You will learn how to do it, and you will stick with it and make sure you get the results that you want. You will make sure that you get the life that you truly want and deserve.
Because you deserve to have a life of abundance. A life where you don't have to worry about money. And if you're in a situation right now where you're struggling, here's what I want you to do:
# 1: Stop blaming yourself for this situation.
Yes, that's right: Don't blame yourself for having "messed up" or for having made unwise decisions about money in the past. I'm sure you've done your best under the circumstances. And we never learned about this in school, so you can't blame yourself for not knowing what you didn't know, - right?
So stop the blaming, and just decide that you will make a change. Take responsibility for the situation and just decide to do better from now on.
# 2: Get clarity about your financial situation.
What does your financial situation actually look like?
This may seem difficult, but it's really not. You just need to write down what your income is and what your monthly expenses are, and not leave anything out. How much debt do you have? What is your monthly down-payment on that? Do you have any subscriptions or other monthly fees that you pay but have lost control over? And so on...
#3: Learn a system for managing your money, - one that is easy and that you can stick to.
This is where I want to tell you about my Money Managing Program, Fun & Easy Money Managing For Female Life Designers. It's a very easy and accessible program, because I know that if you're in a situation where you're struggling with money, you simply can't afford any expensive programs. So I've made it very affordable for you. It was originally priced at $99, but it's now only $39. In fact, I'll be bold enough to say that if you're struggling with money, you can't afford not to buy this program! It's based on systems that even millionaires use to control their finances. Heck, it's because of this and similar systems that many of them have become millionaires!
But you don't have to be a millionaire to make use of it. Anybody can use this system, because it's easy and yet so powerful. Remember: It's not the amount of money you start out with that decide whether or not you'll be rich. It's the way you manage it that matters. The habits of your day-to-day money management.
That's why I really hope you'll buy this program. It has the potential of becoming a life-changer for you, and you even get a 1 Year Money Back Guarantee should you not (after having implemented what you learn) be happy with the results you get from it.
Here's where you can buy the program Fun & Easy Money Managing For Female Life Designers . The link will take you to the product page where you can read a little bit about what's included in the program before you decide to buy it.
I wish you all the best for your new life, and hope you have found this blog post useful.
I’m a time traveler.
I bet you didn’t know that about me… that I’m capable of travelling in time and space and taking on several personalities. In one week I can be in ancient Egypt on Monday, then on Tuesday I can travel on to 1943 to live the life of a resistance agent in the south of France … and on Wednesday I can find myself in 1994 and be a Detective of the New York Police Departement…. and suddenly, on Thursday, I’m back in 2019 and living as a self-made millionaire with my own TV-/public speaker-/author business …
You might think that this must be a rather exhausting way of living, but I assure you: It’s not. It’s invigorating, inspiring, fascinating and wonderful!
I’m so grateful for the day when I discovered that I could do this! It’s been such a journey, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing this!
Anyone can do it
So how do I do this? It’s really quite simple. Anyone can do it. You see: I’m a reader. I read books, articles, blogs…. and I watch films… and I listen to music … and they draw me into their worlds and I identify with the characters of the stories… I smell what they smell, sense what they sense, hear the sounds that they describe or create … I see the landscapes, the houses, the interiors, the colors, the people … It’s amazing!
One of my biggest dreams have always been to be able to create such experiences for others, by writing books and making films … by acting and singing … Because the writers, the filmmakers, the singers and the musicians open up new worlds to us all … and I feel richer with every book, every film, every piece of music that I experience.
I bless the day I discovered this wonderful possibility of traveling in time and space. Thank God for the diversity, the creativity, the inventions that have made it possible to access these treasures, through the printed word, the books, the libraries, the cameras, the radios, the microphones, the LP’s, the cassettes, the DVDs, the concert halls, the screens, the movie theaters, the TV, the computer, the Internet …
I wonder where I’ll go tomorrow …. I’m already looking forward to the journey!
(This was first published on my blog "Leylas Journal" over at leylasjournal.tumblr.com)
With the beginning of a new year, many people - myself included - make resolutions and promises to themselves about all the things they will either stop or start doing in the year to come, or about things they intend to accomplish, places they will go, and so on.
This is all good, but there's a chance we'll put so many things on our list that we'll feel completely overwhelmed just a few weeks into the new year. And then - before we know it - we're "back to normal", back in the same old routines.
Set goals and write them down
Setting goals is a great thing, though. And if you write them down, there's a much bigger chance of you actually making them come true. Research has shown that people who write down their goals accomplish them to a much higher degree than those who don't write them down.
So why don't you set a big, hairy goal for yourself this year, and then make sure you take small steps towards it?
Don't set yourself up for failure by just putting it out there as a WISH and then forgetting about it. Write it down, and decide when you want to accomplish it. Set smaller goals that show how you will reach your BIG goal, and write down Action Steps that you will take, little by little, to get there.
Get clear on your WHY
And get clear on WHY you want to do this or accomplish this, because the bigger your WHY is, the more likely you are to see it through.
And remember: You are the only one who can decide what your life is going to look like. You are the only one who can take the necessary steps to reach your goals.
Don't keep doing the same old things over and over again and expect things to change. You have to DECIDE to change, and you have to TAKE ACTION. YOU are the creator of your own life, and ONLY YOU.
Stop living in the past
Stop living in the past, - that's not where you're going! - and stop blaming the things that happened before, or your childhood, or your current circumstances or other people for where you are in your life right now.
If you're not happy with the way things are: Change them! You're not a tree. You can move around. You can take steps towards the things you want, even if you don't know exactly where to go.
Just start doing SOMETHING. Start from where you ARE, but START! The things and people and circumstances you need in order to succeed, will come to you - if only you start moving in some direction or other.
You are unique. You are great. You are wonderful. And there's nothing you can't do or be.
So set some hairy goal for yourself this year and set smaller goals to get there, step by step. You can do this!
I'm making new rules for my life.
I have lived so many years according to other people's rules, and quite frankly: They haven't served me all that well. I have always felt it deep inside, that something was wrong, and that living within the frames that either my family, the Christian community, teachers, or society in general set for me (and for everybody else), wasn't always right for me.
But it took me almost 5 decades to realize it: That living by other people's rules was not what I came here to do, and that I can actually make my own rules. What a relief!
Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that we shouldn't have rules at all. Some rules, like traffic regulations and rules that help us keep "law and order" in our society and avoid complete chaos, - some general rules for human behavior, like not stealing from others, etc. - are, of course, necessary.
All we have is here and now
I'm referring more to those other rules... the unwritten ones, if you see what I mean, rules that say we "can't live like this or that", or that we must get an education, find a job, get married, buy a house, have children, not strive to get rich....
And the general belief that we must work hard most of our lives to earn money. Then we can retire when we're in our 60's and do all the things that we really want to do.
What a lot of rubbish!
I say: Live your life while you can! You have no guarantees about tomorrow. All you have is the here and now. So make sure you make the most of it! Don't put off until tomorrow or some time in the distant future the things you really love doing.
You came here to live your life the way only you can, and you should follow your gut instinct and not just what other people think you should be doing. They don't know you like you do. Only you know what's best for YOU.
So go for it! What are you waiting for?
Make a plan and start moving
I know, I know... There are challenges... obstacles .... other people to consider ... I've been there, too... But at least do yourself the favor of making a plan and start moving in the direction of what you really want. One small step at a time, if necessary. You don't have to make quantum leaps, - at least not to begin with.
And I know: It's hard to make changes. Especially if you have to do it all alone and don't have anyone to support you or guide you in the process.
But we are many who are on the same journey, and who would be happy to get to know you and walk that road together with you.
I'm one of them. I hereby invite you to get in touch. Let's do this together! It's definitely more fun that way!
Please feel free to follow my blog, or even better: Join my tribe!
"Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else."
This hit me right now as I was thinking and re-thinking about what it is that I want to do with my online presence. In fact: not only with my online presence, but with my LIFE.
Yes, I want to inspire, motivate and empower women to live their life un-apologetically on their own terms. But not only women, - ALL people! I want to show them that being who they are is enough. I want them to be proud of who they are and feel confident in their own skin. I want them to really understand it and feel it with all their heart and in their bones. That they are valuable. Unique. Wonderful!
The big question I'm asking myself over and over again is "HOW can I do that?" And the answer came to me, pure and simple: "Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else."
I have tried and tested... changed my words with the hope that I would reach more people by doing so ...
I have spent hours, days, weeks and months trying to learn from others who have succeeded in building an audience online...
I've invested time and money in it.
I've had plans.
I've been persistent.
I've followed other people's advice about what I should do to get through to "my specific audience"....
But deep inside, I feel that all this... all my efforts... they're not showing the whole picture of who I really am.
Because I'm not a strategist (even though I'm good at making plans). And if a task takes too long before I see any results, I get impatient. I get bored!
I'm a creative person. I don't have ONE passion. I have many! I find it hard to focus on just ONE thing that I should share with others.
I'm a social, outgoing person who loves to interact with people. And at the same time I'm a person who really appreciates some alone-time and don't have any problem with spending hours on my own...
But most of all I want to be with people and talk, interact, laugh, engage in good conversations, share a good meal, inspire, motivate and help others, and also learn from them and grow, spiritually and as a person.
And my passion really is in the creative field, but I've been hiding that side of me for so many years that it scares me stiff to even think that I should "go for it"... that I should "come out of the closet" and show my true self ... the XXXXX in me ...
Damn! I can't even say the word...! Because I'm afraid it will back-fire on me.... that people will throw that word back in my face and say: "Ha! An XXXXXX!? Who does she think she is!?"
So I'm going to spend a few more days in my "closet" now, thinking about what to do about it... How to be true to myself, - how to REALLY show myself and others that I live what I preach: That being me is enough, and that I will stand tall and not be afraid to show it ....
So that they can really get my message and understand that they are enough, too.
YOU are enough.
Because it's really the only way to truly live: "Whatever you do, be YOU and not a copy of someone else."
If this resonates with you, feel free to leave a comment below or follow my blog. Or even better: Join my tribe and let's get to know each other better!
Have you ever experienced that you've had this feeling for so long, some sort of knowledge deep inside of you that there is something you're supposed to do, but you can't really get to the bottom of it ...? You can't seem to figure out exactly WHAT it is that you're supposed to do?
And then you search your soul inside and out. You analyze and rationalize and try to find the answer ... Find out what is your purpose...
And one day you think you've found the answer, and you start moving in that direction, start preparing for your "big break-through", the day when you're really going to go for it... take action... And you're scared to death by the mere thought of it, but this time you've decided that enough's enough, - you're going to do it no matter what... And you feel excited, inspired, even determined...
And then something happens ... something that makes you think again... something that suddenly makes you think: Is this REALLY what I'm supposed to do? Is this really what I WANT to do?
And you say to yourself: "Stop it! This is just you getting cold feet! This is just your FEAR shining through! Go for it! You've been planning for it so long, you will be a failure if you DON'T do it!"
And still.... your gut feeling says: "WAIT! You've been going for something without really checking your compass... your "true North". Your inner guide or your Higher Self is trying to get through to you and ask you to think again."
And suddenly you're right back where you started: You don't know what you're supposed to do. You know where you want to END UP - what you want your life to look like when everything is going your way, but you don't know HOW to get there or what to do.
I experience this, too. A lot. But I believe that I just need to keep on doing the things I love, no matter how much I doubt myself, and I will find my way. I will find my "true North".
Because I know one thing for sure: If I don't start moving, no matter what direction I start off in, I won't get ANYWHERE. I just have to do SOMETHING, and my inner compass (or God, or the Universe, or whatever word feels right for you) will guide me where I need to go.
It's like when you want to go somewhere in your car and you don't know how to get to that place. You won't get anywhere unless you actually start the engine. And then - if you have a GPS, you just have to trust that it will guide you all the way to your destination. But you need to start the engine and head off in one direction or other, or you won't get anywhere.
So how do you take action?
Listen to your heart and figure out what you truly want, and then take action. Again. And again.
Start off in any direction, - just get off the couch and start doing the things you love. Show up in your own life.
Make yourself available to people and circumstances that God / the Universe will send your way, and you will discover what you need to do. People and circumstances will appear. Opportunities will show up. Even if you've tried several times already and still haven't discovered your "true North".
Things don't happen over night (at least not very often). They take time, and if you're constantly doubting yourself, or you're not even sure what it is that you truly want, God / The Universe will have a hard time arranging circumstances and opportunities that can be directed towards you so you can take advantage of them.
So get clear on what it is that you want, and then forget about the HOWs and simply trust your inner compass / GPS / God / The Universe to take care of that.
Relax, but keep moving in the direction of what you want, - show up, be happy and do what you love.
And be GRATEFUL for what you already have. Trust. Have faith. But get clear. Be specific. And take ACTION.